5 Reasons Why the Lobo Movie is Gonna Fraggin' Suck!

I've been a Lobo fan for many years. Actually about 10 years. After Raphael from the ninja turtles, Lobo is the only other comic book character I ever had a crush on (I was a strange child). To this day I've been planning on a design for a Lobo tattoo.
Because I'm such a fan people were a bit suprised to hear how upset I was at the news that Lobo is going to be made into a movie. I should be happy right? The Main Man on the big screen...What a wonderful idea!?! WRONG!!!!! I am a firm believer that Lobo is not a character meant for the big screen. But since Hollywood stopped listening to me after that whole Spice World movie fiasco I know they're not gonna listen to me about the Lobo movie.
Since I can't stop the movie from being made I can atleast give my reasons for why I think the movie is going to suck.

1. It's Gonna be PG-13

Really? Lobo? PG-13? What the frag? And it's not about the swearing. Lobo doesn't really swear...he just replaces swear words with other words...which is something that does work for PG-13 and something I really enjoy about his character. The reason a PG-13 rating is a bad idea is the fact that Lobo is a violent bounty hunter who often finds himself in situations that are not suitable for kids. I've seen the Main Man tear a womans face off with a hook. A FRAGGIN' HOOK! He's violent, he drinks, he's sexually charged, and he's not meant for kids.

2. Guy Ritchie is Directing it

I would never deny the greatness of Guy Ritchies directing. And yes I agree that his films do have the right combination of humor and violence that a Lobo film would need, but I am concerned with the fact that Lobo is a science ficition character. I question Ritchies ability to make an intergalactic bounty hunter seem real on Earth.
Another reason I worry about Guy Ritchie as a director is because I have a feeling the actor he would choose for the role would be someone he's used before in his films. Vinnie Jones. Now I'm actually a huge fan of Vinnie Jones, but I would be very unhappy if he were given this role. He's not nearly as muscular as he needs to be and I really doubt that he can get rid of his accent for the role.

3. It's Set on Earth with a Teenage Girl Sidekick

Oh my god! NO NO NO! There is absolutely no reason to have Lobo on Earth. His best adventures happen far from Earth. The only time he is on Earth it's to beat the living daylights out of a certain Son of Krypton (And he does beat the living daylights out of him....so suck it Superman fanboys).
And what the shiz is up with the current script having an angsty punk/goth teenage girl as a sidekick (If it's Hannah Montana I'm gonna be very upset). In what world would this happen? Lobo with a partner is a rediculous idea as it is and if it were up to me the closest thing he would have as a partner would be his dog Dawg.
Seriously though, a heavy metal looking biker wearing chains and leather, punching faces while being an all around badass at the same time isn't hip with the kids?

4.Heavy Special Effects

The term"Heavy Special Effects" has been used alot when discussing the future of the film. There are tons of CGI nutbags that want to see the character done in full special effects. Now I understand that a movie fan who fights against the use of digital effects is really fighting against the future of film making, but I still feel like it's lazy to just throw an entire character to CGI instead of incorporating practical effects along with digital.
And how big does he really have to be? He's a 7Ft tall character...that doesn't sound completely impossible. Would it really be a tragedy if he's played by a 6 ft 6 actor? Why not use the Hagrid Special effect if his size is so important?

5. Lobo is NOT Meant to be a Live Action Character

7ft tall, long curly black hair, beard, red eyes, fangs, white skin with a blue tint, insane muscles, leather, chains, boots, space motorcycle, love for dolphins, sarcastic, violent, corny, crazy, bounty hunter who always keeps his word.
If you have faith in this movie then you cannot get upset with me for having faith in Ryan Reynolds and the Deadpool movie!

In conclusion, screw DC for not putting any effort into their more popular characters. Where the frag is The Flash movie or Wonder Woman? Why not destroy them instead of ruining my character?

Bonus Rant!

Here is a list of a few of the actors that were mentioned in my rediculously long search on many forums and movie news websites.

Mickey Rourke : Everyone keeps mentioning him because of his portrayal of Marv in the Sin City movie. Marv and Lobo are two completely different characters...and besides the fact that playing Marv shows that Rourke can handle heavy special effects.

Vin Diesel: Dr.J posted a few weeks ago that Vin Diesel had expressed his interest in being a superhero and he's nerdy enough to go for a character like Lobo, but I doubt he would get the part. He doesn't have the right look or the right voice.

Tyler Mane: He was one of the few wrestlers that were mentioned by fanboys (I'm just happy not many people are saying HHH). I say no to Tyler Mane because the guy had a chance to be Sabretooth and I wasn't too impressed with his performance then.

Kevin Durand: The Blob! He does have that big muscle biker look. And he's 6'6"....So he's even tall enough. Hmmmm...I sorta just talked myself into this actor by writting this. The only really bad thing I have to say about him is he was The Blob...but then again no one really was good in that movie.

Andrew Bryniarski: The guy already played Lobo in the fan film The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special. For a low budget fan film it was pretty cool. Not the best acting I've ever seen and I question if he could handle Lobo in a full length movie.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan: He was the Comedian in the Watchmen movie. He is not a likely choice in my eyes. He just doesn't have a badass biker kind of look to him.

Undertaker: Okay...nobody said Undertaker, but 10 years ago when I got into Lobo my first thought was that the Undertaker should play him. He's got the whole look down! Yeah he is too old now, but I gotta give some love to the dead man walking.

Adam Baldwin: He was in Firefly and Chuck. His name was sort of tossed away the second it was brought up on the forums I was looking at, but he is always a possibility. He is tall enough at 6'4" and he does have the muscles.