If it's crap ... We'll tell you
And you thought 'Battleship' was the craziest thing you'd see turned into a movie. Hasbro, the unexpected mine of Hollywood inspiration, has just signed a deal to see three more of its long-standing properties adapted for the big screen. The board games Monopoly and Hungry Hungry Hippos are coming to the screen as well as the Action Man action figure. The first project on the slate will be Monopoly, which Hasbro, along with independent production company Emmett/Furla Films, hopes to get rolling on in 2013. Action Man, for those who (like me) have completely forgotten about it, was a British toy modeled after Hasbro's own G.I. Joe. 'Hungry Hungry Hippos' will be an animated kids film and 'Monopoly,' as was the plan when the film was first pitched, will be produced by Ridley Scott. Hasbro still also has Candyland and Stretch Armstrong movies in the works.
For the love of Cthulhu, why is Hasbro becoming a major filmmaking entity? Why are we still plumbing the depths of our toy boxes for things we can retrofit to film instead of seeking out more original ideas? Or, ok, you know what, I'm going to play devil's advocate here. Maybe there's an upside to adapting Hasbro properties for the screen. There were people who seemed to enjoy 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra,' and I'll fully admit the trailer for that sequel looks amazing. And 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs' will always be my exemplar for the potential of projects that seem like they shouldn't exist. But even with a positive outlook on the whole Hasbro situation, why these toys/games? What is anybody going to do with Monopoly? The characters are either literally going to be running around the game board, or it's going to be a movie that introduces kids to the hardships of The Great Depression; the inspiration for the original board game. Fun! I guess you can make any hippo-centric animated movie and call it 'Hungry Hungry Hippos,' so they're covered there. But really? They're making a movie based on Action Man? So they are producing a film based on their knockoff of their own action figure line on which they've already based two movies? I have to stop talking about this, my head is going to explode.
What do you guys think? Could any of these properties work? Are there any remaining Hasbro properties you can think of that would be more absurd to adapt than the things they're actually adapting?
Source: LA Times