If it's crap... We'll tell you

Maximus's Blog (9)

Babylon A.D - The Really Short Version

I saw Babylon A.D. It was hilariously awful. So, I might as well make an even funnier, shorter version of the movie. Here ya go. *20th Century Fox logo appears. Cue Audience Boos.* Vin Diesel Voice Over: "Save The Planet." That's what it said on a bumper sticker. I thought that was cute. Then I rammed my car into the drivers skull. I thought that was cute too. Oh yeah, then I died. *Rap music plays. Then Vin gets angry with a guy for selling him a bad gun* Vin Diesel: You sold me a bad gun!… Continue

Added by Maximus on September 3, 2008 at 2:47am — No Comments

Star Wars The Clone Wars Review

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Running Time 1 Hour and 38 Minutes Really? Do I have to review this? *Sigh* okay fine. Star Wars The Clone Wars is a "movie"(if you can call it that) about what happened in between Episode II and III. But wait a minute.....wasn't there already a badass Clone Wars series a few years ago? Why yes my young Padiwan, there was. Unfortunately, Lucasfilm seemed to have suffered from amnesia and decided to make yet another story about The Clone Wars. Anyway, it's about… Continue

Added by Maximus on August 15, 2008 at 6:31pm — 1 Comment

The X-Files: I Want To Believe Review

The X-Files: I Want To Believe Directed By Chris Carter Running Time 1 Hour and 40 Minutes I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe that this movie was going to be good. I was anticipating this from it's announcement. I was a big fan of The X Files when it was on, even though I found the later seasons lacking. I loved the first theatrical film they released. It wa… Continue

Added by Maximus on July 27, 2008 at 11:35pm — No Comments

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull review

Directed By Steven Spielberg Running Time 2 Hours and 4 Minutes It's about freaking time. After years and years of development trouble and script problems, Indiana Jones has finally returned to the big screen. Being such a huge fan of the series, I was frothing at the mouth to see this. I even watched the original trilogy the night before to get myself ready. Now, the big day has finally arrived, I plunked down on my seat, ready to watch the fourth Jones adventure. Crystal Skull takes place… Continue

Added by Maximus on May 23, 2008 at 12:42am — No Comments

New Indiana Jones Poster is pretty awesome.

This brand spankin new theatrical poster is very, very cool. I do find it odd that Cate Blanchet looks rather asian, but the rest of the art work on display here is awesome. Can't wait for the movie! GET OVER HERE MAY 22ND! If the poster doesn't show for whatev… Continue

Added by Maximus on March 10, 2008 at 1:30am — No Comments

Vantage Point

Directed By Pete Travis Running Time 1 Hour and 30 Minutes If no one has heard of this movie, I'm pretty surprised. Almost every film I went to had a trailer for this movie. I'm sure you know the one. A bunch of people see an assassination attempt on the president, and we have to figure out the whole story through the eyes of six people. Lots of fast cuts, and action music inha… Continue

Added by Maximus on February 23, 2008 at 1:03am — No Comments

George A. Romero's Diary Of The Dead Review

Diary Of the Dead Running Time 1 Hour and 35 Minutes Usually, I give out the history of these films, but these films are so well known, I'm not going to bother detailing the history of the "Dead'' series. Now, I'm not that big of a fan of the very first "started it all" movie, Night Of The Living Dead, but I became a fan once I saw the later films, especially Dawn. Now, his fourth film in the series, Land Of The Dead, was a little too ambitious in scope, so Romero goes back to his ultra… Continue

Added by Maximus on February 16, 2008 at 2:30am — 1 Comment

RAMBO! The review

So what happens when you take a real world situation, and throw in a big screen Icon? All hell will break loose, that's what would happen. That's what Rambo is. Now those who don't know who Rambo is (and why don't you?), here's the skinny. Rambo is a series of action flicks starring the awesome Stallone as the title character. In the beginning, he was a Veitnam vet who was just trying to get home, when he is accosted by police officers. He fights back, but gets in prison. In the next movie, he h… Continue

Added by Maximus on January 27, 2008 at 2:41am — No Comments

Two of THE WORST films I have ever had the displeasure of watching in a theater.

2007, while an awesome year for movies(In my opinion anyway), also had a couple pretty bad flicks. But I'm not here to tell you about films that were released in 2007. I'm here to tell you about two films I saw in preview screenings that will be released this year. These are SOOOO bad, it hurt me on the inside watching them. However, I finished them just so I can give you my two cents. So here we are.

In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

I went to a screening of… Continue

Added by Maximus on January 8, 2008 at 3:41am — 1 Comment