That's it! I know exactly what it is I have to do. I'm hitting my face with a big, fuckoff pan.

Sure, I'm aware of how childish this all sounds, but let me assure you that the only way I can correct certain things in my life is to man up and smash a cast iron skillet into my fat fucking face a few times. It takes a certain level of maturity to admit that to ones self. Even more to admit it on the internet.

The world is a complicated place. Disease, war, oppression, assault,…

Hey guys! HELP ME WIN $1,000! Vote for PAINTING 1 here! http://www.101x.com/bluemoon

You can vote once every 24 hours. I love you.

Thanks!

"WFT? I SEND U A FAECBOOK FREIND REQUEST Y U IGNOR ITS??"

I get that exact message multiple times every week from people deeply and personally affected by my unwillingness to add them as a 'friend' on Facebook. Sometimes they push a little bit more when not responded to:

"I M UR FAN. Y U TREETS FAN LIEK…

I shot an episode of "The Greatest Drunk Stories Ever Told" with Grant on loungegeeks.com

Check it out here:

http://www.loungegeeks.com/2011/05/the-greatest-drunk-stories-ever-told-the-white-couch/

Updated April 22, 2011

Here we go, you salty cunts! I'll be updating this as the questions come in, so keep 'em coming. If I don't get to your question, it's because: 1) you've asked too many; 2) I've answered it already; 3) The question was dumber than the dumbest one I've already answered. Ask your questions in the comments below.

General Info:

I'm a total art dork. I love movies. I…

FAQ POSTED! GO HERE! http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/rubios-awesometastic-spill-faq

Fuck. If there was ever any indication of being at rock bottom, its putting an FAQ together for a nerd podcast.

So, let me have them.

MESSAGE ME with any questions you'd like me to…

Well, not really. One post does not a blog make.

I mean, I have the ability to write one, but the inclination? The idea of keeping a daily blog has about the same appeal to me as having sex with a herp-infested sea urchin on fire that wears the same hat as Carlyle. On a lava island full of killer robots that hate brown people. But that's not to say I won't pop in here from time to time to lay some wet hot knowledge into unplowed minds. I just won't do it…