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Cyrus's Blog (1,126)

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Fantastic Fest Review #5: Postal





Uwe Boll. Where do you even start? This is the man who brought us video game to movie adaptations like House of the Dead and Bloodrayne so terrible, that they made Tomb Raider 2 look like Casablanca. This is the guy so offended by the universal bad reviews to his movies (which he insists are masterpieces) that he challenged… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 26, 2007 at 11:39am — 2 Comments

Fantastic Fest Review #4: Southland Tales



Richard Kelly, the director of the cult film Donnie Darko, is finally ready for a wide release for his next film, and I don't envy him. Anticipation is high and there's almost no way to meet it. Donnie Darko created a rabid cult of fan boys (which I am admittedly one of) and they will be hard to please. Unfortunately, I think for most people, Southland Tales is going to fail…

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Added by Cyrus on September 24, 2007 at 2:42pm — 5 Comments

Fantastic Fest Review #3: The Sword Bearer

The Sword Bearer

The Sword Bearer is a Russian film that at least on the outside appears to be about a guy who has a sword that comes out of his arm that is trying to destroy the people who hurt his family and to protect the woman he loves. I'm sure that's how the press packet describes it. How would I describe it? The most emo anti-hero (well, he never does anything really…

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Added by Cyrus on September 23, 2007 at 1:31pm — 3 Comments

Fantastic Fest Revie #3: Aachi & Ssipak

AACHI AND SSIPAK







You know that movie you like thats really REALLY weird but you love it anyway because it's just so much fun? Well, Aachi & Ssipak beats it up and takes its lunch money.This is an animated Korean film by director Joe Beom-jin who almost certainly likes drugs a whole bunch. Fortunately much like the Beatles, he appears to be one of those guys who does their… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 23, 2007 at 12:43pm — 2 Comments

Fantastic Fest Review #2: Timecrimes

Fantastic Fest is a festival of a few big premieres, true. We got to see the first secret screening last night which was Richard Kelly's Southland Tales, but that's a tale for later (I got to finish figuring it out first). The true joy of the festival is discovering all the smaller and foreign films that Tim League and company have discovered. Some of these films due to the attention they get here go on to bigger and better things. Some, only the attendees of the… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 23, 2007 at 12:04pm — No Comments

Fantastic Fest Review #1: George Romero's Diary of the Dead





Finally we got in to see the starting film of the festival, George Romero's Diary of the Dead. This was not going to be a continuation of his previous dead films, the last one being the luke-warm Land of the Dead, but was going to re-boot the series taking place somewhere else on day one...but updated to now.



Tim League (owner of the Alamo) came out first and introduced the film and all of us to… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 22, 2007 at 12:04pm — 2 Comments

Fantastic Fest: The Opening Party

Ah, Fantastic Fest. The finest film festival for geeks like me on the planet. Seven straight days of horror, sci-fi and fantasy all served up with your choice of quality beers or food at the best movie theater on the planet: The Alamo Drafthouse in Austin Texas. Today was one of those days that makes one really happy to live here.



When I arrived at the front doors of the Alamo, I was surprised to see only a few lost looking souls wandering about. Sure, I was two… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 21, 2007 at 11:33am — 3 Comments

Fright Night Remake Sounds Nothing Like Fright Night

In this mad rush to remake every damn horror movie from the 70's and 80's I sometimes forget that there are some films out there that while I may not have dusted them off for awhile, still were perfect just the way they were. I personally didn't really care that they remade Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Halloween or The Hills Have Eyes...yeah the original films are great in their own way, place in history, yada yada yada, but they weren't the films that made a young… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 20, 2007 at 12:45pm — 3 Comments

Superheroes Getting Rushed Out to the Screen...and Who Cares?

Scary Movie 1-4, Epic Movie, Not Another Teen Movie, Date Movie...what do all these films have in common? Not one of them is as funny as even the ending credits of one of the Airplane! films that started this whole satire genre. An undemanding public who have kept America's Funniest Home Videos on the air for SEVENTEEN years and who piles the family into the SUV to go to the mall to see Norbit for the second time, keep noisily masticating their popcorn and… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 20, 2007 at 12:18pm — 1 Comment

Fletch Dies

*sigh*



Sometimes, no matter how much you want something to happen, the psychic powers just won't kick in and make it happen. Seriously, most of the time I can make frakking people's head explode if I wink too much, but much like Hiro, sometimes my superpower just can't get fully erect. Even thinking about Jamie Summers and Diana Prince getting into a tickle fight doesn't help. And believe me, if it had you'd be seeing this as a blog title today:…



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Added by Cyrus on September 19, 2007 at 3:45pm — No Comments

Waiting 2: If Anyone Says Electric Boogaloo I'll Kill Them.

It may come as a surprise to all of you that I have not always exclusively worked in film. In fact, I once worked for you, bringing you more salsa, mayonnaise, and most importantly, that holy relic of any restaurant near a sorority house, ranch. Night after night I toiled to make sure your fries weren't soggy and your salt had not washed off of your mediocarita before you got them. This of course had to be balanced against the prerequisite minimum of two smokes an hour, the occasional… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 19, 2007 at 3:27pm — 4 Comments

New Friday The 13th Remake News and Expected Accompanying Snark

If you're a big horror fan, you've probably already heard that Michael Bay's production company, Platinum Dunes, is working on a Friday the 13th reboot. A tipster over at Shock Till You Drop is saying that Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (Freddy Vs Jason) have been hired to write the film. Word was that Jonathan Liebesman (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A New Beginning, Darkness… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 18, 2007 at 1:40pm — 1 Comment

Lots of New Indiana Jones 4 News for ya

Tons of news today about Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull. Lots of spoilers though so stop now if you really don't want to know anything about it.



Ok, I'm waiting....











They gone?



Good, now for the nude pictures of Elisha Cuthbert.



No, I'm kidding.



I honestly wish with all my twisted and black… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 18, 2007 at 1:15pm — No Comments

Richard Kelly Presents Darko Productions

Director Richard Kelly, best known for the cult hit Donnie Darko, has started his own production company called, appropriately enough, Darko Entertainment.



The company is picking up several films by other directors. First on the list is Dirty Girl about a titular character who joins up with a introverted girl in High School special ed class, and they go a-roadtripping.



Also to be released under the banner is Kelly's next film (after the 2 years… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 17, 2007 at 1:01pm — 1 Comment

Cool Hulk Set Photos and News

Big, green, and hopefully not lame this time, The Incredible Hulk is currently filming in Toronto and Ronin Kengo has some cool pics of a pseudo-Harlem that's all kinds of smashed up.



Things seem to be progressing smoothly and quickly on this re-do that is written by Ed Norton, who also plays Bruce Banner, and is directed by Louis Leterrier (The Transporter,… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 17, 2007 at 11:15am — No Comments

Harry Potter May be the New James Bond

Harry Potter is tired of only having time to save the world and wants to move on to being able to get some serious play as well. What the hell am I talking about? Daniel Radcliffe apparently is being pursued for the role of the young James Bond in a new spin-off theatrical series based on a series of books.The story follows Bond through his college years and the inevitable adventures therein.



While this sounds like a pipe dream from the license holders of the… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 14, 2007 at 11:05am — 4 Comments

Guy Ritchie to Direct "Dirty Dozen" Remake and a HUGE List of Upcoming Films

If you follow insider Hollywood news at all, you know that everybody is seriously putting the rush on lots of prjects before the (dum dum DUM) big-ass Writers Guild, Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild strikes next year. Coming Soon.net got their hands on a memo floating around of what the studios want to make a priority to get done before the strike happens. Check it out: …



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Added by Cyrus on September 14, 2007 at 10:32am — No Comments

Ricky Gervais Feature Film Announced

English comedy god Ricky Gervais is finally ready to move on from short-seasoned television (The Office, Extras) and cameos in films (Stardust, Night at the Museum).He's going to be helming his own feature film. Mr Gervais will co-write, co-direct and star in This Side of the Truth.



According to Variety, the film is set in a "contemporary world where no one has ever lied. Gervais will play a performer who tells the first lie and harnesses its power for… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 13, 2007 at 11:36am — No Comments

Salvador Dali Film Snags Murphy and Pacino

In one of the more surreal news stories this year, Al Pacino will be playing the famous artist Salvador Dali in the upcoming film Dali &I: The Surreal Story.



Yes, I know, I punned. Move on.



The film will take place between the 60s to the 80s during the time which Dali wasn't doing so much of his famous work as he was being invited to parties and public events so he could be fabulous. And Pacino playing that? Oh man, this could be… Continue

Added by Cyrus on September 13, 2007 at 11:23am — 1 Comment

"Wolverine" Script Review

Following immediately on the heels of the supposed synopsis of the X-men spin-off Magneto's script, now a script review is up for the slightly-more-anticipated Wolverine spin-off.



Wolverine is a prequel. I don’t think that’s news. When it starts, Logan only pops bone claws and they don’t make that lovely SNIKT sound. He’s living out his life as a lumberjack in…
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Added by Cyrus on September 12, 2007 at 11:50am — No Comments

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