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Cyrus's Blog – November 2007 Archive (41)

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Tohtally Ganked Fast an da Ferious Fouha Scrip

OMG I TOHTALLI HAV TO SEE THE NIEW FAST AN DA FERIOUS FILM...



Text speak is the only way to discuss this Fourquel without vomiting in my mouth a little. Someday it will be the only means that the devolved underground Fast and The Furious fans will be able to communicate with each other.



All that being snarked, the film marks the full-time return of both Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, so I guess I can see why some of the fan boys are getting a… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 30, 2007 at 1:08pm — 9 Comments

The Wayans With Munster Cheese



The Wayans. I want to hate them, I really do. Horror like Little Man and White Girls that they've inflicted on us are so unspeakably twisted and unnatural that when one confronts them, like as if it was a face-to-face meeting with Cthulu, one's mind retreats into babbling, wearing a tin foil hat, behaving like Britney Spears insanity.…

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Added by Cyrus on November 30, 2007 at 12:43pm — 8 Comments

Brad Pitt About To Die

Brad Pitt is old.



He is so gorram old.



Look at this ancient, withered geezer...



Is that his daughter? What the hell is a geriatric, antique like Pitt doing with....

Hopefully by now you've figured out that I'm being…

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Added by Cyrus on November 29, 2007 at 6:07pm — 10 Comments

Review for "Once"



Once.

I'm still unclear why the tag line and the title decided to go the way it did. Openly declaring "How Often do you Find the Right Person: Once" didn't seem to me to be at all what this movie was about. A more appropriate title might have been Indie Rock: The Musical,…

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Added by Cyrus on November 29, 2007 at 3:12pm — No Comments

Matthew Perry Becomes a Seventeen Year Old

In Hollywood, nothing stays dead. Nothing. Once we get the CG down photo-realistic, I guarantee they'll be using computers to mimic dead actors using voice samples from old movies. I GUARANTEE it. Eventually George Lucas will even get around to remaking Howard the Duck when he gets tired of raping the corpses of his more sucessful franchises...you read it here first. Lucky for you guys, I'm not here to announce anything as apocalyptic as all that. Unless you… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 29, 2007 at 12:15am — 5 Comments

The Dark Tower Series Rights Gets Bought For Nineteen Dollars

Lots of people have tried to buy the rights to Stephen King's Dark Tower series but he's always said no until now. King just sold the rights to the series for 19 bucks. Why would he do that? Because it was to JJ Abrams who King is extremely enamored of (read his Entertainment Weekly column if you don't believe me). Here's King on the matter:



“This is not a thing I would have (given) to just…
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Added by Cyrus on November 28, 2007 at 3:04pm — 10 Comments

Mummy, Tell Me your Story...

I know, I know. I can't stop talking smack about the new Indiana Jones film, but here comes some news about the new Mummy flick and I'm all over it. Before I respond to that, let me just post this new synopsis of the film taken from director Rob Cohen's blog...





The blockbuster global "Mummy" franchise takes a spellbinding turn as the action shifts to Asia for the…
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Added by Cyrus on November 27, 2007 at 5:04pm — 8 Comments

Three New Pictures from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Adult Diapers

What's that? I'm absoposifrakkinlutely the last blogger on the entire interwebs to post these pictures? Even Ladies Home Journal online has run the story? Deal with it.…











 Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 27, 2007 at 4:52pm — 6 Comments

Indiana Jones and the Close Encounters of the Third Kind

So was there anyone who didn't know yet that the new Indiana Jones film has aliens in it?



Oops.



Well, now that the grey is out of the bag, check this out.



One of the things that Spielberg has gone on record as saying is that most of the special effects in the film are practical. Now that appears to be true. The aliens in the film are puppets. There are three of

them, seated on thrones in the…
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Added by Cyrus on November 26, 2007 at 5:05pm — 6 Comments

Natalie Portman Says No to More Star Wars

Natalie Portman wants us to know that she's done being in Star Wars. Really? Oh 'cause we were all hoping and praying there would be another big digital boring mess with you dressed up like you're in a all-drag queen stage production of Barbarella.



“I’m so honored to have been a part of [the ‘Star Wars’ prequels. I got to basically latch on to this thing, that was a huge success before I was ever involved.”

That said,…

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Added by Cyrus on November 26, 2007 at 3:21pm — 7 Comments

The Bat Attacks The Webosphere on Black Friday

Since I don't make enough to have any money to spend on this day of all spending days, I've spent the day surfing the web. Lucky you, I found a barrage of new Batman movie viral sites for ya to check out. I'd rather have my own copy of Rock Band, BUT I guess if I had it, you guys would get some pretty truncated posts from me for a couple months...I'm Cyrus,… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 23, 2007 at 2:24pm — 10 Comments

The mysterious link between Cloverfield, Heroes & Alias

Now that the 'official version' of the Cloverfield trailer is out, speculation begins again, all sweaty palmed and anxious. The closest look I've found of the actual monster is here, and so far...well...you still can't really tell a damn thing about it. This could be the film adaptation of Rampage! for all we know.



There's another mystery about the… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 23, 2007 at 1:41pm — 6 Comments

John Connor Cast in Terminator 4...According to the Big Guy

This is fun. I keep waiting for the harassment to start but it still hasn't. So here I go again talking about McG's upcoming T4, currently titled Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins. Once again, I personally am really excited about this project and think it has the possibility for greatness. Keep in mind, this is a Terminator film with John Connor set after the Skynet attack...right there and I'm sold. This is what I've been hoping for all… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 21, 2007 at 4:25pm — 10 Comments

Final Destination Annoys Title Literalists Yet Again

The Final Destination series has been a real conundrum for me. The first film is not half bad but I wouldn't call it a classic. It had a great premise, some cool deaths, and even managed to be scary at points. It peaked my interest enough so that when they announced a sequel, I was interested.



The second one ironed out a lot of the problems by making Death a lot less anthropomorphized (look it up) and more of it being just the universe's faceless anti-virus… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 21, 2007 at 12:50pm — 5 Comments

3D is Back with a Vengeance

I'll hand it to the adherents of 3-D technology, they really wowed me with Beowulf. That being said, 3-D isn't a wave of the future, it's a gimmick. It's nice to do it every once in awhile but a little goes a long way. This is the polar express opposite of what many of Hollywood's power players are thinking. James Cameron is all agog about the tech and Jeffrey… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 21, 2007 at 12:21pm — 4 Comments

Bruce Willis and His Better Looking Robot Double

First, the good news. Bruce Willis is returning to sci-fi with the lead role in The Surrogates. The story takes place in the 'near future' where nobody ever goes out because we have "surrogate" robots that interact for us in the real world that look just like us only better looking. Willis plays a cop who is investigating the murders (or I would think just the 'destruction of' since they are no more than avatars) of several surrogates. Over the case of… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 20, 2007 at 7:52pm — 3 Comments

You Can't Get Rid Of Riddick...

I know it's not a popularly held opinion but I love the character of Riddick. I know you were all hurt by The Chronicles of Riddick but keep this in mind: it wasn't really the story that was bad. It was actually pretty cool, a Conan-in-space type tale. No, the problem lay with the costume design and set decoration:



Did they hire evil gay guys to design…

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Added by Cyrus on November 19, 2007 at 5:23pm — 4 Comments

Not-So-Super Casting for Justice League of America Movie

Oh my, has it been that long since I have written anything about Justice League of America? There's been plenty of movement on it, just not really interesting movement. Even these casting scoop rumors could be completely irrelevant if the film has stalled due to the strike. Options expire quickly with actors who submit to screen tests and since there reportedly is no shooting script yet for the… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 19, 2007 at 4:45pm — 20 Comments

Frank Miller and the Wachowski Brothers's Batman Movies That Didn't Happen

Sometimes things just get thrown in your path from unexpected quarters and time and sleep deprivation work in tandem to prevent you from doing the type of investigative journalism that you're not paid nearly enough to do. So I ask you, faithful and good looking readers of Spill.com: Do you think this is legit?



The link leads you to an unassuming page called Leon's Script Collection (no… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 17, 2007 at 2:38am — 4 Comments

New Hulk...Same as the Old Hulk

Get ready folks, here it is: The long-awaited new Incredible Hulk for your perusal...



Ok, I know it's a crappy cell phone picture from a promotional poster (This is really my week for cell-phone image stories) but I'd just like to be the first to formally announce...

He looks just like the last gorram… Continue

Added by Cyrus on November 16, 2007 at 3:42pm — 15 Comments

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