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Cyrus's Blog – May 2009 Archive (17)

Cyrus Lets Jason Take the Hit on the "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" DVD



Thank you, Jason. Thank you for taking all the most horrible looking movies with a smile, for even going out of your way to request them. Thank you for being there for me when teens gets killed by a dude in a mask with a gold card to Home Depot. And a big thank you for reviewing this one. Call me when ghosts show up. We're ready to…
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Added by Cyrus on May 31, 2009 at 2:24pm — 5 Comments

Cyrus Gives the Vulcan Salute to "Star Trek: The Original Motion Picture Collection" Blu-Ray Set



It’s a phenomenon. I know that lots of you wrote it off when you were young’uns out of fear of being labeled a ‘dork’ or a ‘geek’ or whatever. I got some news for you. If you’re on Spill, you ARE a dork/geek/whatever. Times have changed. Smart is sexy. Futurism is fantastic. Let your freak flag fly. The goddamn meek are inheriting the Earth and no portent could be more conclusive of the geekpocalypse being here than the latest Star… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 29, 2009 at 5:54pm — 23 Comments

Professor Cyrus's Film School Presents "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence"



John Wayne is an actor so iconic that as a symbol for machismo even today he is matched by no other. He also represented a conservative view point, not only in his staunch anti-communist real-life position, but as the cowboy resistant to change but still determined to do the right thing. Nowhere did he more make himself more inextricable from these ideals than in… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 28, 2009 at 2:23am — 21 Comments

Cyrus Doesn't Mind Lowering his Brows For the "Underworld Trilogy" DVDs



There is nothing at all wrong with trying to make a vampire mythos that doesn’t feature overly pretty teenager whining about love. Okay, not as much whining anyways. It seems to me that some folks got confused from the outset by the “Underworld” series who were expecting something more like horror films. These are for the fans of gothiness and vampire fiction who get off… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 21, 2009 at 9:19pm — 25 Comments

Cyrus Concurs with Jason's Blood Lust for "Taken" on Blu-Ray



After our Spill review of this one, I heard some complaints that there was nothing all that special about "Taken", that it was just another revenge film and I can't help but think that those folks were missing the point. It IS the simplicity that makes "Taken" function like a finely honed combat knife. Simple, efficient, brutal. Since I…
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Added by Cyrus on May 21, 2009 at 1:31am — 15 Comments

Cyrus Says that "S. Darko" is Just One of the Manipulated Dead



Hackles raised? Good. Let’s get this off the ground by quoting from director/writer of the original film “Donnie Darko” Richard Kelly who said of this direct-to-DVD sequel, “To set the record straight, here's a few facts I'd like to share with you all -- I haven't read this script. I have absolutely no… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 20, 2009 at 4:04pm — 14 Comments

Cyrus Presents Merry's Review of "Gavin & Stacey: Season One" Because He Has No Choice



Yes, master. I will make a request for the show that you (SMACK) that we love so much, "Gavin & Stacey". Yes, I will let you write the review on Spill. Mistress Merry, your will is my command.


If you’re anything like me, then you’ll think that the “Love at first sight” theory is a complete crock. Any movie or TV show that bases their… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 20, 2009 at 2:27pm — 6 Comments

Cyrus Turns His Nose Up at "Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Comedy"



You know those segments on “Family Guy” where Peter says something like, “This is worse than the time Cyrus and Leon went to the Sex and the City Convention by mistake” and they show a non-sequitur bit? Apparently there must have been lots and lots of those left over because “Seth McFarlane’s Calvacade of Comedy” seems like a collection of deleted scenes more than a proper release. And much like deleted scenes, they… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 15, 2009 at 10:51pm — 28 Comments

Cyrus Writes a Gorram Book about "Star Trek The Original Series Season 1" Blu-Ray



I couldn’t help myself. I know this is coming in pretty late, but the allure…the NEED to watch every single one of the twenty-nine 50 minute episodes was overpowering for me. It wasn’t just that I was still on a Trek high after watching the new movie and doing the Star Trek episode of LEOG. It wasn’t just that this Blu-Ray edition is so cleaned up and… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 15, 2009 at 10:00pm — 21 Comments

Cyrus Points Out Where You're Wrong by Reviewing "Bullshit! The Sixth Season" DVD



It's all crap. Most of it. Most of what you believe. If I was to go back and talk to the me of 20 years ago (hell, the me of ten years ago) and find out all the stupid shit I believed was true, I'd have to beat my own ass. Sometimes we believe things because our parents told us, sometimes because our friends did, sometimes we read a badly researched article/book, sometimes it's something that almost everyone believes. Still doesn't stop it from… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 13, 2009 at 12:08am — 16 Comments

Cyrus Will Never Give Up, Never Surrender and Loves the New Deluxe "Galaxy Quest" DVD



Is there a better time than now to re-release a perfect satire of Star Trek like “Galaxy Quest”? Now with all the excitement in the air fostered by the new prequel/reboot Trek film, now is a hell of good time to not only check out the old original series again (review forthcoming, I promise) but to celebrate what makes Trek such a unique beast…its fans. In 1999’s… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 12, 2009 at 11:32pm — 25 Comments

Cyrus Presents an Interchangable Jason Review for the Blu-Ray of "The Uninvited"



Upon my honor as a founding member of the League of Extremely Ordinary Gentlemen, I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Urm, I mean, I swear that I don't ask for these DVDs specifically to torture Jason with. I actually asked for this one because I planned on watching it. Of…
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Added by Cyrus on May 6, 2009 at 6:33pm — 3 Comments

Cyrus Reluctantly Loves the Tons of Animated X-Men that Just Came Out on DVD

I suppose now is as good a time as any to indulge in animated X-men. Something has to take the bad taste out of my mouth. There have been four animated series based on the characters so far. Fox has FINALLY gotten around to releasing the first two sets for their enormously successful 1992-1997 “X-Men” series, although in a bare-bones half-assed sort of way typical of these sorts of releases lately… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 6, 2009 at 6:07pm — 40 Comments

Cyrus Special Report: "Deadpool" Spin-Off Movie is a Go and News about "Wolverine" Sequel

Gee, really?



While I most certainly thought "X-Men Orgins: Wolverine" was crap, there was never any doubt it was going to perform well, at least for awhile. After an 87 million dollar opening weekend, a easter egg ending featuring Deadpool revealing his survival, and the most certain casting move in comics to movies since… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 6, 2009 at 10:59am — 32 Comments

Cyrus Special Report: Green Lantern Cast? Looks That Way. Maybe.

What's this? Superhero casting news after hours? Why, it's Cyrus to the rescue, reporting on the matter.





According to Drew McWeeny over at Hitfix (he's better known as "Moriarty" at Ain't it Cool… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 6, 2009 at 1:30am — 24 Comments

Cyrus Freaks Out With the "Freakazoid Season Two" Set



So what, it’s a rip-off. Sometimes the rip-offs can rock. Look at “Battlestar Galactica”. It’s not out of the question. Still, it would have been nice if the creators of “Freakazoid”, a Warner Brothers cartoon that aired from 95-97 had credited the comic book… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 5, 2009 at 10:34pm — 15 Comments

Cyrus Tracks the Newest Kick-Ass Martial Arts Bad-Boy in the Trailer for "Merantau"



When I watch a high-quality martial arts film like "Fist of Legend" or "Drunken Master II", I'm getting more from it than just a testosterone rush. Most American "fighting" films don't offer much more than foley-laden 'crunches'. There's a quality of work in the fight choreography in Eastern martial arts… Continue

Added by Cyrus on May 3, 2009 at 4:21pm — 49 Comments

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