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Jared's Blog (30)
White House Responds to Oliver Stone's "W."
Once again, my intrepid journalistic skills (fishing through White House garbage bins) bring you the exclusive scoop:
On a side note, I recently saw W. and it is brilliant. Oliver Stone realized that the only way to effectively capture the aimless, idiotic Bush administration on film was to make an aimless, idiotic movie.… Continue
On a side note, I recently saw W. and it is brilliant. Oliver Stone realized that the only way to effectively capture the aimless, idiotic Bush administration on film was to make an aimless, idiotic movie.… Continue
Added by Jared on October 22, 2008 at 5:04pm — 6 Comments
OMG DANE COOK I LUV U!
Listen up guys. Apparently Dane Cook is still making movies. This is a big problem.
Now, I considered writing a strongly worded letter to Mr. Cook beseeching him to stop, you know, performing ever again. But then I realized an arrogant asshole like Dane Cook probably only reads things from his adoring fans. In lieu of this, it was time to get passive aggressive.
I… Continue
Added by Jared on September 29, 2008 at 3:00pm — 33 Comments
Disaster Novel: The Novelization of Disaster Movie
If you ask me, this is the last movie I'd choose to make a book out of, but it seems Seltzer/Friedberg are at it again. They've commissioned an author to adapt their screenplay, and I've got some exclusive excerpts for you guys. Enjoy.…
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Added by Jared on August 27, 2008 at 12:30pm — 40 Comments
Kevin Smith Has Seen Zack and Miri: “It’s Fucking Astounding!”
Added by Jared on August 25, 2008 at 12:30pm — 24 Comments
Why Harry Potter 6 Was Really Delayed
Rather, my confidential source tells me that the extra time is being used to update the film. Director David Yates will be accommodating some recent changes that J.K. Rowling has made to the Potter universe since the release of… Continue
Added by Jared on August 21, 2008 at 11:30am — 60 Comments
Lucas Announces "STAR WARS: Extra Special Edition"
May the Force have mercy on us… Continue
Added by Jared on August 18, 2008 at 11:00am — 28 Comments
I assume no one reads this thing, but...
I've revised my most recent post (usually try to do it before it goes up). Feedback, as always is appreciated. Haters only, please.
Added by Jared on August 7, 2008 at 7:33pm — No Comments
The 10 Best Movies to Watch While High
Air-conditioned, comfortable, and filled with popcorn, movie theaters have always been a worthy stoner destination. In fact, it should be no surprise to some of you that certain movies can be a lot of fun to watch while high (an appropriate way to let me know if you’re one of these people is to spam the comments with “420 w33d 4 life!!1”).
I could wax poetically about this subject forever, so this list is far from exhaustive. Nonetheless, I hope you’ll find a good mix of old standbys… Continue
I could wax poetically about this subject forever, so this list is far from exhaustive. Nonetheless, I hope you’ll find a good mix of old standbys… Continue
Added by Jared on August 6, 2008 at 6:30pm — 47 Comments
DEBATE: Did "The Dark Knight" Get Gotham Right?
A stylized interpretation of Gotham, far from Nolan's vision.
In the late 80s, Tim Burton met with legendary comics author Alan Moore to discuss his upcoming Batman movie. Moore had only one piece of advice: "Get Gotham City right."
Looking back at the 1989… Continue
Added by Jared on August 5, 2008 at 10:30am — 32 Comments
Watchmen: A History of the Movie that Couldn't Be Made
When people talk of a “development hell,” I’m pretty sure they’re envisioning the ninth circle as a private party for the Watchmen film, with buddies Ghostbusters 3 and Halo: The Movie in attendance.
Seeing is believing though, and with the release of Zack Snyder’s kick-ass… Continue
Added by Jared on July 31, 2008 at 12:53pm — 15 Comments
What I Learned About "The Spirit" at SDCC
Added by Jared on July 30, 2008 at 10:26am — 9 Comments
How Franchise Reboots Are Making You Smarter
Is this the new classroom? Sort of...
Pop culture is getting smarter, and so are you. Bear with me for a bit, because I know how crazy that sounds.
Conventional wisdom suggests that television and movies are becoming mired in a cesspool of sex, violence, and absolute idiocy: a perfect storm of lowest-common-denominator entertainment guaranteed only to make you dumber. But do franchise reboots… Continue
Added by Jared on July 29, 2008 at 10:30am — 25 Comments
Have You Seen 'Dr. Horrible'?
The picture above captures the awesome that is Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Joss Whedon's pet project during the writers' strike, Dr. Horrible is a 40-or-so-minute three act musical following aspiring supervillain, Dr. Horrible. It was released exclusively through internet distribution, and although it's been available for a while, I checked it out last night for the first time. The verdict?… Continue
Added by Jared on July 29, 2008 at 9:30am — 4 Comments
The 10 Most Pathetic Animals for a Superhero Persona
Let’s face it, you could do a whole lot worse than bats.
10) Turkey
Turkeys are widely known for their unparalleled stupidity, inability to fly, and high meat-to-guilt ratio, a measurement that pits the deliciousness of an animal’s meat against how adorable it looks while dying. In fact, Turkeys are one of the few animals that actually decrease in pathetic-ness when you kill them, their lifeless bodies… Continue
10) Turkey
Turkeys are widely known for their unparalleled stupidity, inability to fly, and high meat-to-guilt ratio, a measurement that pits the deliciousness of an animal’s meat against how adorable it looks while dying. In fact, Turkeys are one of the few animals that actually decrease in pathetic-ness when you kill them, their lifeless bodies… Continue
Added by Jared on July 25, 2008 at 10:00am — 18 Comments
Nolan-ifying Classic Batman Villains
I’ve seen a lot of talk recently about which Batman villains wouldn’t work, under any circumstances, in a Christopher Nolan film. I think the far cooler question is: how might some classic Batman villains turn out if that’s just where they happened to show up?
I decided to take a look at four of Batman’s most iconic villains. Though they’ve all appeared in a Batman film before, I’m pretty sure this is the first time that they’ve been “Nolan-ified,” taking a swing at what a… Continue
I decided to take a look at four of Batman’s most iconic villains. Though they’ve all appeared in a Batman film before, I’m pretty sure this is the first time that they’ve been “Nolan-ified,” taking a swing at what a… Continue
Added by Jared on July 24, 2008 at 1:30pm — 74 Comments
The 21st Century Joker: Dating On Match.com
Christopher Nolan has brought the Joker into the twenty-first century, making him dark, gritty, and psychologically complex. But come on, this is 2008, and just like everyone else you know the modern Joker would be going online. What better way to find victims than through the magic of the internet?
(Click on the image for the clearer, larger size)…
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(Click on the image for the clearer, larger size)…
Continue
Added by Jared on July 17, 2008 at 12:30pm — 25 Comments
"The Dark Knight" Review Form for Film Critics
Let's just save everyone a little bit of time:
[Edit: Thanks to akumi okada for suggestions regarding a wording edit.]…
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[Edit: Thanks to akumi okada for suggestions regarding a wording edit.]…
Continue
Added by Jared on July 16, 2008 at 10:30am — 21 Comments
Latest Blog Posts
Most Popular Blog Posts
- The AFI Top 100 Movies... In 5 Words Each
- The 10 Best Movies to Watch While High
- Michael Bay's Rejected "The Dark Knight" Script (Parody)
- Douche of the Week: M. Night Shyamalan
- White House Responds to Oliver Stone's "W."
- The 10 Most Pathetic Animals for a Superhero Persona
- Why Harry Potter 6 Was Really Delayed
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