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Matthew Jaques

Matthew Jaques's Blog (15)

Roman Polanski Finally Arrested for Rape

The legendary fugitive director was finally apprehended by law officials for his Statutory Rape charge from back in 1978, wherein he drugged and sexually assaulted a 13 year old girl, Samantha Geimer.

While Polanski has successfully stayed outside of US jurisdiction since then, avoiding trial for his crime, he finally made a fatal mistake on Sunday, September 27th… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on September 27, 2009 at 12:19pm — No Comments

Disney buys Marvel! Permafrost in Hell soon expected!

In what is possibly the most confusing business move this year (or even this decade), Disney has announced that they plan to buy the comic giant Marvel for $4 Billion dollars. Robert Iger, chief executive at Disney, said this: “We believe that adding Marvel to Disney’Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on August 31, 2009 at 10:38am — 3 Comments

Matt's Retro-Reviews: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

I am a very lucky guy. I was blessed enough to just find a copy of Terry Gilliam’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas on the Wal-Mart shelves recently. The legendary word-of-mouth about both the film and the book had me interested and 9 dollars wasn’t much to lay down for this movie. Oh, what a bargain, what a bargain! This movie is fantastic. I’ve watched it 8 times since pu… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on August 27, 2009 at 12:00pm — No Comments

As if Up itself didn't make cry enough...

Now this happens.

Colby Curtin, a 10 year old girl from Huntington Beach, CA was dying of cancer. While she desperately wanted to see Pixar's Up, she could not be moved safely to a theater for health concerns. Enter Pixar. After being notified by the family's plight, Pixar sent out a representative with a DVD of the film to give Colby a private showing. As if th… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on June 19, 2009 at 12:28am — 23 Comments

The Upcoming Winners of 2009

In my last great revelation, I witnessed the upcoming cinematic tragedies in this Year of our Lord Two Thousand and Nine. I feel it is only fair and just to also name what excellent titles have been divined upon me. Light remains in this world, my children! 1) Star Trek It hurts my credibility to name something that critics are already raving about, I admit. However, my hopes were already high before the surprise Austin screening with the second trailer. After the great betrayal by George Luca… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on April 29, 2009 at 5:02pm — 3 Comments

The Upcoming Stinkers of 2009

Gather round, my children. I see dark clouds on the horizon. Great evil shall visit itself upon us and I have come to share my visions with you all. Take heed of my dark prophecy and change your fate! I have looked into the crystal of all knowing and have seen what movies this year will be utter piles of worthless refuse and sin! Now prepare for the Word of What Will Most assuredly Suck. 1) Obsessed. Wow. A successful businessman with a family is in danger from a psycho-bitch that wants him i… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on April 20, 2009 at 4:14pm — 24 Comments

Monsters vs. Aliens (I.E. My Saturday Afternoon Naptime)

Let’s face it; life is disappointment. No matter how good something looks, its final quality is never assured. Such was my plight with Dreamworks’ newest box office hit, Monsters vs. Aliens. It looked funny and interesting from the trailers, but the released product left my expectant movie plate noticeably scarce of cinematic flavor. The movie stars Reese Witherspoon as Ginormica, a… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on March 30, 2009 at 4:03pm — No Comments

The Audacity of Fanboyism

Perusing the latest media news, I came across the plight of a site called The Ultimate Joker (URL: www.ultimatejoker.com), a web page made for people who want Heath Ledger to be the last, official, cinematic representation of Batman's greatest villain, the Joker. What essentially seems to be their argument is that the performance of Ledger as the Joker is so quintessential that any o… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on February 21, 2009 at 11:44am — No Comments

Polanski: The Dilemma of Crime-Committing Artists

After reading the news of Roman Polanski’s court troubles from yesterday (regarding his 32 year old statutory rape case), I got to thinking about the moral dilemma that comes from seeing our icons not just do human things, but immoral and sometimes despicable things. While these figures offer us artistic, insightful, and important pieces of culture, do these contributions excuse them… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on February 18, 2009 at 4:30pm — 8 Comments

The Midnight Meat Train Review

Clive Barker hasn’t had the best career as of late. Despite being one of the biggest names in Horror, his relevancy has been shifted back towards direct-to-DVD releases and awful video games like 2007’s Jericho. The Ryuhei Kitamura directed The Midnight Meat Train is the promise of a return to Horror that we don’t merely react to with mockery and rollin… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on February 16, 2009 at 7:07pm — 1 Comment

Coraline Review

Let’s face it, Henry Selick might not be around at all, were it not for his work on The Nightmare Before Christmas. His visual designs and imagination shined enough there that earned him the chance to make two more movies with his signature stop-motion style: the dark, yet enjoyable James and the Giant Peach and the tremendous flop that was Monkeybone. Years l… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on February 8, 2009 at 10:31pm — No Comments

Taken Review: Me kissing Liam Neeson's ass

I can’t praise this movie enough. Seriously, I could just write “Taken was unbelievably awesome” a million times over and be just as satisfied as delivering you a well written critique of a movie- Taken was unbelievably awesome Taken was unbelievably awesome Taken was unbelievably awesome Taken was unbelievably awesome Taken was unbelievably awes- Hold on there, Matt! You can make it… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on February 1, 2009 at 12:35am — 1 Comment

RockNRolla DVD Review

I won’t start this review with any pretense that I’m familiar with Guy Ritchie, because I’m not. RockNRolla is the first film by him that I’ve seen. However, the British film scene tends to pump out some of the better, more enjoyable flicks (a la Christopher Nolan), which gives RockNRolla a running start from the play button. To describe RockNRolla’s plot without spoiling anything is… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on January 25, 2009 at 1:29pm — No Comments

Gran Torino Review

Clint Eastwood is one of the most iconic figures in the film industry. While his previous directorial outing, Changeling was a bit too bleak for many peoples’ tastes, the prestige associated with his name will always make movie-lovers come back for more of his work. This leads to Gran Torino, a movie which he not only directed but starred in as well.

Written by Nick Schenk and Dave Joh… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on January 19, 2009 at 12:00pm — 6 Comments

Why Philip Seymour Hoffman Should Not Play The Penguin in the Next Batman Film

Now, before you hammer those nails into my hands and/or burn me at the stake, hear me out.

I'm not saying Mr. Hoffman is a bad actor at all. Far from it; I watched Capote just last week and I thought it was one of the best performances I had ever seen. However, what I saw in that film… Continue

Added by Matthew Jaques on November 24, 2008 at 10:00am — 2 Comments

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