Hey little girl, where did you get that paint? How did you make the Sinisterly face? Why are you looking at me with pure evil in your heart?

It’s been a good long while since a horror film really got to me. Don’t get me wrong, The Cabin in the Woods was and still is an awesome movie, but it never really scared me (but it did make me laugh).…

Oh Joss Whedon, I now see why people worship you and suck from your luscious teat. You give the minds of film-lovers the greatest blow job in history.

Disclaimer: this will be a spoiler-free review for people who are still on the fence about this. Short answer: run to the fucking theater right now. Long answer…

I feel sorry for any person that does not watch this movie. I pity you even more if you are an avid lover of horror films. This is simply…