Rating-F**K YOU!!! Okay! Who's bright idea was it to turn a series with over 50 episodes that run at half an half hour each into a 90 minute film?! This film is directed by M.Night Shaymalan who most people remember from really good films such as The Sixth Sense, Signs, and the god-awful The Happening. His strengths are that he works really well with actors, he knows how to set up twist and surprises. In this film however, you hav none of those. Instead all you get is…
Rating-F**K YOU!!! I have never seen the Arnold Conan films, so I didn't know what to expect when I saw this horrendous excuse of a film. But those originals... they have got to be better than this! Cause this... this piece of shit pissed me the fuck off, there is nothing of quality here! NOTHING! The plot is that Conan, as a boy witnesses his father being killed along with the rest of his village. Who does this to him? A warlord that is so one-dimensional that he…
Rating-Better Than Sex!!! What can be said about Blade Runner that hasn't already been said? There is the period of time before Blade Runner, and there is the period after Blade Runner. Thanks to Ridley Scott's brilliant directing, this plot of a man hunting down a group of rouge human replicants is brilliantly paced so that you never get bored. There is always something visually stunning onscreen 24/7, in my opinion the best part of Blade Runner is not its smart script,…
Rating-Better Than Sex!!! What can be said about Ridley Scott's Alien that hasn't been said? It is undoubtedly one of the best films ever made for many, many reasons, and is the very definition of a classic. Alien takes place in the future, the commercial ship Nostromo picks up a…
So, Steven Spielberg was originally gonna make Harry Potter and americanize the fuck out of it.. A group of fellow Spillios and I, during a late-night skype call imagined what would the worst possible cast be (back in 2001). 45 minutes later, we come up with this.
Haley Joel Osment as Harry Potter Ed O'Neill as Hagrid Adam Sandler as Voldemort Tara Reid as Hermione Granger David Spade as Ron…
December 2009, a much simpler time. Exictment was building for future films such as "Avatar", "Sherlock Holmes" and of course "Alvin and The Chimpmunks, the squeakeul". Little did the world know that they were about to be introduced to the most rambuctious family to ever hit television since the Cosbys. Season one of the shore introduced us to a great cast of characters. Body freak the situation, spikey haired Pauly, Tig Bitties Jwoww, Sammi Sweatheart, family man Vinny Big Ron and lil Snookie.… Continue
Added by chris on August 2, 2011 at 3:00am —
This is my review of Rebecca Black's Friday. I am new to this sort of thing, so if anyone who is good at this has any advice, I would love that. I desperately want to get better. I would like to point out that I do not like the song specifically. I like it in the same way that some people like Troll2. There seems to be a lost in translation type thing with this video.…
After Last Season is the most mind dumbing, engrossing, and poorly acted movie I have ever seen or could even imagine seeing. Whoever the set designer is for this move should be mauled by a Polar Bear and a Regular Bear in the same day. If you have not seen this movie go to Amazon and order it, it will be the best money you will have ever spent. Or at least go to youtube and look up the trailer. By the way the movie makes less sense than the trailer. You may be thinking right now.... Why should… Continue
Added by zware on April 8, 2010 at 11:40pm —
Since I hear the word "epic" so much, especially when talking about movies, I have thought of a list of movies that I believe actually are Epic.
Here are my guidelines that I followed: 1) It has to be a movie, but I think a few mini-series can classify as movies. 2) The movie has to take place over a period of years, or the story has to be very rich and grand. 3) As long as the story continues, I view sequels as part of an epic.
I love the Friday the 13th films to an almost psychotic degree but even I will admit that most of them are not good films. Fun films to be sure, but not good films. I’m not entirely sure exactly why I like them so much, there’s just something about the silent, plodding killer that I love so much. That and the sheer stupidity of the characters he kills. Perhaps my favourite example of this is in one of the earlier films. I’m not exactly sure which but I think it might be number… Continue
Ok, I promise, tomorrow will not be a movie featured in MST3K. In fact, it’ll be a super awesome Halloween special edition of Great Scenes from Bad Films! Awesome. But Mari Nickl reminded of Pumaman and I just had to include it. It was another great Mike era episode and this film really deserved the MST3K treatment. Allow me to elaborate.
The film opens with a paragraph regaling us with the Aztec legend of a God descending from the heavens, fucking an Aztecette and fathering the… Continue
As with yesterdays entry into the hallowed halls of shit cinema fame, this entry came to my attention through the stellar work of the crew at Mystery Science Theater 3000. This film was in what is possibly my favourite of the Mike era episodes, in fact it would probably be my favourite of all episodes if not for Manos. Everything about this episode is great, the riffs, the host segments with classics like Crow’s ‘In Search Of…’ style programme about women to the cardboard cut-outs of the crew… Continue
Like most people out there who have seen Manos: The Hands of Fate (Translation: Hands: The Hands of Fate) I became aware of it through Mystery Science Theater 3000. The episode is held in high regard amongst the shows fans and rightly so. It is, after all, awesome. Some of my favourite riffs I heard in the shows history come from this episode, as do some of my favourite segments. Such a thing is only possible with the just the right film, and Manos is just such a film.