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PREÐATOR
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"You either die a Pimp, or you live long enough to see yourself become the Hoe."
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- Space Capsule 101-¹²³½¼¾‡¨¬¬..|..
- About Me:
It be I, Predator.
Galactic bad-ass extraordinaire.
I like big butts, and I cannot--WILL NOT lie.
Ever.
I be birthed from another world, sent here to slaughter by my Father due to immense procrastination.
I starred in Predator and Predator 2 back in the day, get that straight you filth-bags.
You all seem to think that anything that has the word Predator on it immediately means I had something to do with it.
You're like raw porn without the nudity, it just doesn't make any freakin' sense!
Bastards.
As for the Pred-Banner, don't credit me, credit the almighty and powerful Daniel LuVisi whom also goes by the name Adonihs over at Deviantart.com
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Back as a teen, I wasn't much of a hunter. Eating mountains of Kuwazanza (··¤(`×[¤) berries, reading the latest edition of The Crapulant Cosmos (|<(v)¦‡»¬¯¨_O.o° : #34) and jerking off at the closest MRirian Joint (-·=»‡«=·-) life was swell.
Now, as for my father, the gauntlet wearing-lockjaw masked ¬‡¨¦, he looked upon me with dissappointment and embarressment as his co-hunters gave him crap that his own blood was a "Mandibles Yawn". Anywho, I think it was a Saturday, I was watching Wheel of MisFortune...or was it Funniest Home Slaughters? Not too sure, but my father stepped in, wearing a shirt with flowers (which, when coming to Earth, I realised it was a Hawaiian Shirt, some kinda Russian garment. HEIL!).
He tells me that we're about to go on a family trip. Next thing you know, my mom drags me by the swig of my dreads and into our crappy ·!¦[·½Æ (... space ship). As usual, it was craptacular until I yelped, "Gotta pee". Here's the part which has traumatized me from using a toilet of any sort for my entire life:
One of the escape pods had been setup as a shitter. Kudos to my father for being such an artist (sarcasm). Halfway through squeezing out a log the size of...well, a log, I felt the ship come to a halt. Once I flushed, the doors infront of me locked, the boosters bursted, and away I went with toilet water all over me.
That's pretty much how I arrived on Earth (which coinsidently was in my issue of The Crapulant Cosmos) I caught on from the get-go that I was sent here to hunt.
"But why here?!" moaned I with a foot in the soil.
It's been a while.
*whiskey snort*
- All Time Favorite Movies:
PREÐATOR's Blog
Batman Versus The Terminator Teaser
Posted on November 12, 2009 at 9:19pm — 52 Comments
Pred-Doodles #3
Posted on December 10, 2008 at 12:30am — 14 Comments
Pred-Doodles #2
Posted on October 15, 2008 at 1:02am — 7 Comments
No more Batman for Nolan?
Posted on September 9, 2008 at 5:30am — 7 Comments
Pred-Doodles #1
Posted on August 26, 2008 at 1:38pm — 13 Comments
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Catch me if you can! MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
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