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PREÐATOR
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"You either die a Pimp, or you live long enough to see yourself become the Hoe."
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- Space Capsule 101-¹²³½¼¾‡¨¬¬..|..
- About Me:
It be I, Predator.
Galactic bad-ass extraordinaire.
I like big butts, and I cannot--WILL NOT lie.
Ever.
I be birthed from another world, sent here to slaughter by my Father due to immense procrastination.
I starred in Predator and Predator 2 back in the day, get that straight you filth-bags.
You all seem to think that anything that has the word Predator on it immediately means I had something to do with it.
You're like raw porn without the nudity, it just doesn't make any freakin' sense!
Bastards.
As for the Pred-Banner, don't credit me, credit the almighty and powerful Daniel LuVisi whom also goes by the name Adonihs over at Deviantart.com
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Back as a teen, I wasn't much of a hunter. Eating mountains of Kuwazanza (··¤(`×[¤) berries, reading the latest edition of The Crapulant Cosmos (|<(v)¦‡»¬¯¨_O.o° : #34) and jerking off at the closest MRirian Joint (-·=»‡«=·-) life was swell.
Now, as for my father, the gauntlet wearing-lockjaw masked ¬‡¨¦, he looked upon me with dissappointment and embarressment as his co-hunters gave him crap that his own blood was a "Mandibles Yawn". Anywho, I think it was a Saturday, I was watching Wheel of MisFortune...or was it Funniest Home Slaughters? Not too sure, but my father stepped in, wearing a shirt with flowers (which, when coming to Earth, I realised it was a Hawaiian Shirt, some kinda Russian garment. HEIL!).
He tells me that we're about to go on a family trip. Next thing you know, my mom drags me by the swig of my dreads and into our crappy ·!¦[·½Æ (... space ship). As usual, it was craptacular until I yelped, "Gotta pee". Here's the part which has traumatized me from using a toilet of any sort for my entire life:
One of the escape pods had been setup as a shitter. Kudos to my father for being such an artist (sarcasm). Halfway through squeezing out a log the size of...well, a log, I felt the ship come to a halt. Once I flushed, the doors infront of me locked, the boosters bursted, and away I went with toilet water all over me.
That's pretty much how I arrived on Earth (which coinsidently was in my issue of The Crapulant Cosmos) I caught on from the get-go that I was sent here to hunt.
"But why here?!" moaned I with a foot in the soil.
It's been a while.
*whiskey snort*
- All Time Favorite Movies:
PREÐATOR's Blog
Batman Versus The Terminator Teaser
Posted on November 12, 2009 at 9:19pm — 55 Comments
Pred-Doodles #3
Posted on December 10, 2008 at 12:30am — 14 Comments
Pred-Doodles #2
Posted on October 15, 2008 at 1:02am — 7 Comments
No more Batman for Nolan?
Posted on September 9, 2008 at 5:30am — 7 Comments
Pred-Doodles #1
Posted on August 26, 2008 at 1:38pm — 13 Comments
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And secondly, it was certainly not my intention to make you involuntarily induce your precious pain-water the other night. I understand it's considered a priceless delicacy
in certain parts of the galaxy. If there's anyway I could make it up to you,
(Short of skull extraction.) I'd be more than happy to do so.
http://my.spill.com/group/foreignexchangepodcast/forum/topics/episode-5
Nick might be hunting you down. O_O
Thanks for listening to the show, we try to be interesting...make sure you tune in next week!! we'll have our site up soon hopefully! anything you want us to talk about? shoot it! and well make sure to mention it haha!!!!
-the chrEEp-
I was going to post both of those in the room, but it seemed like the conversation had moved on from the soundtrack to the storyline.
I tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sin 'til the Chig Man comes! :'(
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