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Rachel Ward
  • Female
  • Liverpool, NY
  • United States
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Dario Argento's Suspiria: Yes, it looks beautiful, but the story made no sense. Hell, if they just let the girl like off campus the would have been nothing to worry about. And how did they get that room filled with razor wire? Outside a dance a...
September 26
Rachel Ward is now a member of The Spill.com Movie Community
September 26

Profile Information

Hometown:
Liverpool, New York
About Me:
I love watching moives with my friends.

All Time Favorite Movies:
Full Metal Jacket
Battle Royale
All Time Worst Movies:
Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds: Thatn scene with the baby was too much for me.

Dario Argento's Suspiria: Yes, it looks beautiful, but the story made no sense. Hell, if they just let the girl like off campus the would have been nothing to worry about. And how did they get that room filled with razor wire?

Outside a dance academy in Freiburg, a delivery guy knocks on the door. The door is opened by Madame Blanc.

Madame Blanc: Hello.

Delivery Guy: Good morning Madame. I hate to bother you so early in the morning but I could use your help.

Madame Blanc : How so young man?

Delivery Guy: Well you see, I am supposed to deliver one-hundred and twenty-nine meters of razor wire to this address.

The Delivery Guy hands Madame Blanc his invoice.

Delivery Guy: But all that’s here is your dance academy. I must have the wrong address.

Madame Blanc: No, this is the right address.

Delivery Guy: Really.

Madame Blanc: Yes, really.

Delivery Guy: Are you having fun with me Madame?

Madame Blanc: No, I placed the order.

Delivery Guy: Seriously?

Madame Blanc: Seriously.

Delivery Guy: Pardon me Madame but I must ask, why does a dance academy need one-hundred and twenty-nine meters of razor wire.

Madame Blanc: The Academy intends to put on a production of Swan Lake.

Delivery Guy: Swan Lake… with razor wire.

Madame Blanc: It is a new interpretation, very avant-garde.

Delivery Guy: Okay.

After a short awkward pause.

Delivery Guy: So where do you want the wire?

Madame Blanc: There is a small room on the third floor with a window near ceiling that opens on to another room for no particular reason.

Delivery Guy: You know, traditionally people keep their razor wire outside the house.

Madame Blanc: JUST DO AS I SAY!

Delivery Guy: Whatever.

The Delivery Guy walks back to his truck to retrieve the razor wire.

Madame Blanc (whispers to herself): Tonight your dog will kill you.

Delivery Guy: What did you say?

Madame Blanc: What?

Delivery Guy: I thought I heard you say something.

Madame Blanc: No. No, it was nothing.

Delivery Guy: Okay.

Madame Blanc: Do you have a dog?

Delivery Guy: A what?

Madame Blanc: A dog. Do you have a dog?

Delivery Guy: No Madame.

Madame Blanc: Well, you should get one. This afternoon in fact. Right after you place the razor wire in the small third floor room. That way you will have a dog tonight.

Delivery Guy: Why should I get a dog?

Madame Blanc: Dogs help us fill our time in ways that have absolutely nothing to do with the stories of our lives.

Delivery Guy: I’m more of a cat person.

Madame Blanc: Get a dog.

Delivery Guy: I think I may be allergic to dogs.

Madame Blanc: GET A DOG!

Delivery Guy: Okay, I’ll get a dog.

Madame Blanc: Today.

Delivery Guy: Today?

Madame Blanc: Yes, today, so that it is with you tonight.

Delivery Guy: Okay, I’ll get a dog today.

Later that evening the Delivery Guy’s new dog Pepe, a Pomeranian, nuzzled him viciously until he gave him a belly rub and snauage.

The End.
Favorite Actors or Actresses:
Adam Baldwin: Full Metal Jacket and the show Firefly and a great guest appearance on Stargate SG-1

Vincent D'Onofrio: Full Metal Jacket and Law & Order Criminal Intent
Favorite Directors:
Stanley Kubrick

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Rachel Ward

Dario Argento's Suspiria

Dario Argento's Suspiria:

Yes, it looks beautiful, but the story made no sense. Hell, if they just let the girl like off campus the would have been nothing to worry about.

And how did they get that room filled with razor wire?

Outside a dance academy in Freiburg, a delivery guy knocks on the door. The door is opened by Madame Blanc.

Madame Blanc: Hello.

Delivery Guy: Good morning Madame. I hate to bother you so early in the morning but I could use your help.

Madame Blanc : How so young man… Continue

Posted on September 26, 2009 at 8:30am — 1 Comment

Comment Wall (22 comments)

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At 4:02am on October 16, 2009, Zombie Messiah said…

At 11:50pm on October 14, 2009, PvtSnafu said…
http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/coming-soon-the-art-of-1001
At 9:03am on October 9, 2009, Ramos Supreme said…
nic pic love yhe boots
At 11:09am on October 7, 2009, robin said…
does one like taking photo,s of one self
At 12:39pm on October 6, 2009, wayne twomey said…
good to know
At 11:31am on October 5, 2009, jack burton said…
Good'ol Vincent...
The guy is phenomenal in everything he's done.
The whole Sherlock Holmes/Moriarty storyline in Criminal Intent was genius!
At 11:54am on October 4, 2009, Sam S. said…
Anytime, sweetheart! What's up?
At 7:32am on September 30, 2009, med salah hedhili said…
hay
At 9:34pm on September 29, 2009, Pandamanic said…

At 4:03pm on September 29, 2009, Gojira Boy said…
No problem, it was TRULY funny! Thanks for sharing, LOVE this site!
 
 

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