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MisterKeitel
  • Male
  • Dayton, OH
  • United States
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The Written Word is My Omniverse

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Profile Information

Hometown:
Centerville, OH. -a nice quiet, suburban sprawl south of Dayton, a midsized Midwestern city aka "the real America." Of course, every place says they are the "real America" and so many dumbasses try to tell you that they are "real Americans." Perahaps if we stopped using such words and phrases we'd make better decisions as a country.
About Me:
I am an aspiring sci-fi and fantasy writer. I sometimes have so many ideas running around in my head that it's tough to figure out what to work on at any one time. Work, eating, sleeping and gym time always seems like a distraction to my real destiny...which is writing.
All Time Favorite Movies:
Hhhhmmmm…..My “favorite” film changes from time to time. Usually I’ll have a currently favorite film in mind, which changes from week to week. Like last week I found a DVD of the 1970’s sci-fi “Zardoz” at my local library and I watched that with the audio commentary by director John Boorman and for a while that was my fave film. Then I found a VHS copy of the Hammer version of “She” at Half Priced Books that I bought for $1 and that was really cool.

As well, just this weekend, I was watching a VHS of Clash of the Titans from the Dayton Public Library. Very cool stuff. Vitage Ray "stop-motion-master" Harryhousen. But the best part is the exchange between the villian Calubus and his ex-fiance, Andromeda. You could really feel his pain and anquish that drove him to be the antagonist.

But my favorite films are the ones I’m constantly writing in my head or on paper. As an example, I’d love to shoot a low budget, live-action version of the mythological “Epic of Gilgamesh” or the Grimm’s fairytale “Iron John.” And, evern though I'm an avowed anthiest (cosmicist baby!) I would not mind shooting a live-action, green-screen version of extra-biblical legend of Jesus going down to Hell and kicking red satanic ass known as the "The Harrowing" as well as "Paradise Lost" where Satan is the hero, or anti-hero or anti-villain.

But if I could shoot anything, such as a big budget film, with The Rock. I think Dwayne Johnson would be awsome as Steve McGarret in a comic version of Hawaii 5-O (with sexy Charlize Theron as Dann-O) or as the title character in a straighlaced version of the original "pulp fiction" epic Doc Savage: Man of Bronze.

As well, I’m working on writing a superhero story called “Omniverse,” a sword-and-sorcery high-fantasy adventure called “Realm,” a romantic comedy called “Girlfriends from Outer Space” a 1930’s pulp hero thriller called “Men of Tomorrow” and a 1950’s styled sci-fi comedy called “Jason of Mars.” Also, I'm thinking Heroe's In Hell-styled story called "Netherealm: The Further Adventures of HP Lovecraft and Robert E Howard in the Afterlife.

So you could say that those are my current favorite films because I love writing them so much.
All Time Worst Movies:
Sex in the City. I took my mom to this movie and it was a mindnumbing form of torture. My personal hell would be to be trapped in a relationship with one of those women. Their lives are all about buying expensive things and seeing if they can make the men in thier lives jump through hoops. But it must be said that I was one of the very few men in the audience. I think for the women watching this film, like my mom, this was their version of Star Wars. This was their Dark Knight Returns and The Watchmen.

The Dark Knight and Iron Man. There, I said it. Or I wrote it. To me Dark Knight and Iron Man were both well made propaganda films for pro-NeoCon (read: fascist) views. I mean, I ask you, is it a good thing that Batman is beating up a prisoner in custody? How much different is that than George W Bush torturing so-called "Enemy Combatants"? It's like Christopher Nolen is saying: "Look world, if we want to be safe from terroirst madmen, we really do have to give up our rights." In the end, this version of Batman will save our lives but take our freedom.

And what do we learn from the IronMan movie, hmmmm, I guess we learn that what we Americans really need to do is blast all foreigners who disagree with us with superior technological firepower. Oh, wait! Isn't that already what we've been doing for the past 5 years? Has that worked? Or are we stuck in two wars that that promise to NEVER end? Gee, Thanks, IronMan!!

Okay....You can go ahead and flame me now.
Favorite Actors or Actresses:
I would love to marry either Meg Ryan, Kim Bassigner, Gweneth Paltrow, Leslie Bib, Heather Locklear, Mira Sorvino or Karen Duffy. However, as of this date, I have not as yet recieved any response back from any of them regarding my marriage proposals to them. Gosh! I can't imagine why that might be.

As far a fave actors - I have a pet theory that most people idolize movie actors that they subconsciously think look like them. So, on that note I'll say I like Harvey Keitel, Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Humphry Bogart and actor/director Kitano "Beat" Kitashi.

So go ahead and ask a friend their fave actor (actress) and then consider for yourself if they look like that persons.
Favorite Directors:
Kubrick, Oliver Stone, Michael Moore, Finchner, Alex Proyas, Del Toro.

As well, I liked the George Lucas who made THX1138, American Graffitti and Star Wars. But I suspect that sometime in the mid-80's aliens from outerspace or demons from hell replaced that young, talented dirctor with some weird, self-imporant creature who has one purpose in life and that it to piss me off!

Comment Wall (25 comments)

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At 9:45am on May 27, 2011, The Spill Crew said…
@MisterKeitel - It's 100% Spill Crew. We used to have writers from Hollywood.com write these (a while back), but we found that sometimes their opinions and choices of story were waaay out of line with the interests of the average Spillio or sometimes weren't fact-checked as well as they could be, so we took it over and we do it all in-house now. While it can be any of us, we post under "The Spill Crew" because that way all our stories are in the same blog and RSS feed, instead of being split among all of our people individually (and those RSS feeds are what push the content to the front page, etc).
At 11:15am on May 16, 2010, Alexine said…
Just wanted to say 'THANK YOU' for calling Cyrus out on that 'Just Wright' joke. Thumbs up.
At 2:20am on April 28, 2010, Darth_Siskel said…
I would say also that the orignal Lovecraft novel Herbert West - Reanimator is also a template. It was the first time we ever saw flesh eating zombies. Long befor Romero
At 12:13pm on March 24, 2010, Stephanie said…
The Director, Michel Gondry is probably my favorite Director, so you will not be disappointed, but it can get really werid, I love it. He did Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Be Kind Rewind and Tokyo! must see!
At 2:37pm on December 21, 2009, Lord of The Hills a.k.a LOTH said…
i'm glad you like the catwoman pic..
At 8:27pm on October 10, 2009, Zeek Slider said…
I answered all your questions about the hopper on my blog. I hope you find it interesting.
At 8:03pm on October 7, 2009, Clown Socks said…
I always thought that if a movie should claim the title as "All Time Worst" it was because it failed horribly on all levels. Now, you might disagree with whatever message you're recieving from the film, but I think that calling IM and TDK "All Time Worst" is a terrible overstatement.
At 8:44pm on September 3, 2009, slevin117 said…
your like, the sterotypical libral fuck. i am a democratic but your the reason people complain. the dark kngiht being torture, that wasn' torture and it wasn't showing how to 'stop terrorists'. it was to show how batman was looseing control for a few minutes.

and iron man, you forget about how the whole thing is that he wanted to prodect people, he saved how many civilians and he destroyed his own factory to stop a, guess what, american!
At 8:04am on August 13, 2009, Dr. Detfink said…
Former governor, mister Keitel who got his ass kicked right out of office as soon as the news broke in a NY minute.

The irony is, Spitzer's platform as a D.A. was not penalizing prostitution but calling for stiffer penalties like jail time. After alienating every single union connected to NYC, he also alienated himself which is why....he had to fly her across state lines to have his rendez-vous.

There are no secrets in this town. You have a dirty spot, one way or another it shows up...and that's life.
At 10:53am on August 6, 2009, afg1988 said…
Not a problem bro! I saw it at a screening in my area. I get word that a screening was going down so I went. I hear ya on the geekiness of the times man! But at this screening, it was essentially more of the younger crowd that was anywhere between 16 to 28. Essentially the same crowd that I saw Transformers with and its hasbro too so there ya go man LOL :P

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