My dick, supersized. Your dick, two fries.

Hometown:

Modesto

About Me:

I'm a man, with testicles, and I have shit to do, shit I need to do, and shit that's done. I've traveled across the lands reaching from the North to the South. I've sailed the seas from the Pacific to the Atlantic. I've met with Statesmen. I've dined with Kings. I've made connections, and burnt bridges.
I've converted Terrorists to Capitalism. I've killed giants. I've mourned Gods. I've stolen hearts, and I've broken bones. I've played in bands. I've made statements. I've declined to comment. I've flirted with fortunate, I've dated despair, and I've married disaster. On a scale from one to ten, I'm the measuring stick. Canadians have given me the secrets of life. The Chinese have shown me God. The Irish have shown me Hell. I've gone back in time to rock with Titans. I've cleaned the kitchen, and I've washed the dishes. I've looked into the eyes of an angel and glimpsed the devil. I've partied with Polka Kings. I've fought with Jewish Samurai's. I've entertained the masses. I've always wanted more. I've scribed my thoughts. I've faced rejection by corporations.

I am yours, and you are mine. Let's be one.

All Time Favorite Movies:

Forrest Gump
Borat
Children of Men
The Producers (2005)
Clerks II
The Incredibles
Hot Fuzz
Toy Story
Star Wars (All of them, even the stupid episode 2 and mostly awful episode 3)
Spaceballs
Napoleon Dynamite
Harry Potter 1, 2, 3 and 5.
Crank 1 and 2
Iron Man
Batman Begins and The Dark Knight
Spider-Man 1, 2, and 3

and probably lots of others.

All Time Worst Movies:

(IN ORDER from worst to least worst)
Wanted
Harry Potter 4
Wanted
Dragon Ball Evolution
X-men (all of them)

Favorite Actors or Actresses:

Stephen Fry
Simon Pegg
Jason Lee
Stephanie Nadolny

Favorite Directors:

Brad Bird
Kevin Smith
Alfonso Cuaron