Farktoid's Page

Adam Sandler has become death, the destroyer of worlds.

Farktoid back again with tonight’s Freeform Anger of Bedtime Stories. As a disclaimer, I grew up on Adam Sandler movies. I contend to this day that Billy Madison is one of the single most brilliant comedies of modern history, and anyone who disagrees can jump into that pit in 300. The swan is still looking at me.

But let’s cut to the chase. Bedtime Stories sounds like A Night at the Museum sans the museum. So let’s li… Continue

By the look of the ol’ pocket watch my dad’s friend hid in his ass for two years and gave to me, it’s time for another inspiring taste of Freeform Anger. But tonight, I’m not sure how angry I’m going to get.

The almost-feature length animated film Dead Space: Downfall wormed its way… Continue

How are you gentlemen?! It’s Freeform ಠ_ಠ time! Tonight we dig our spork into another helping of Uwe Boll’s video game crapstravaganza. This time it’s Far Cry. If you don’t know who Uwe Boll is, count your blessings and run screaming from your computer right now.

For the re… Continue

In the grand tradition of Freeform Anger changing shit up, tonight we present Freeform Awesome. Our feature this evening is “Punisher: War Zone,” another apparent reboot of the Punisher movies. And no Marvel hero has gotten more rebooting than Frank Fucking Castle.

A buddy of m… Continue

In tonight’s “Freeform Anger,” we set the Wayback of Fail Machine back to 2007 and fire our lazors on one of the easiest targets out there: Epic Movie.

This is another of those “Oh God why did they let someone do this” movies from the handjobs who wrote and
direct… Continue