If it's crap... We'll tell you
Have you ever taken pleasure in someone else's misery?
I guess it's my turn to start a discussion... Something popped into my head just now and I wanted to know if anyone else had a similar anecdote before I go look for a shrink.
I was walking back from my exam earlier today, positively glowing with happiness and relief (a rare thing for me these days) at never having to discuss or read about goddamn prehistoric archaeology ever again, when, at the corner of my eye, I see someone quickly turn around who looked suspiciously like the last guy I dated. Needless to say, it was a REALLY bad break up that earned him the moniker "The Asshole." The striking thing was not that he was standing there apparently waiting for someone in the middle of the day when he should be at work. No, what struck me was how bad he looked. He did not look attractive at all. It got me wondering about why the heck I was attracted to him in the first place. He was not wearing flattering clothing and he had a pretty bad hair cut. He also looked really thin. For some reason, I got a kick out of that. Actually, it totally made my day.
So here's my question: what was the best situation in which you ran into an ex or anyone you didn't like? I want to know about times where you know that you walked away from an encounter as the "winner." Or also, any case of Shadenfreude (taking pleasure in someone else's misfortune) you've experienced and why it happened (you can't help but laugh when karma bites someone in the ass). I don't think my example really applies to that last thing because I don't know for sure if he got fired or if he's unhappy or both. But I did take pleasure in the fact that he looked awful (and that I happened to look cute and happy instead of my usual sleepy and pissed off) and that he couldn't face me out of embarassment, particularly when he's the one who made the last contact.
I'm counting on you guys to not make me feel bad about this confession. By the way, be honest. No one's here to judge. Even if you regret them now, I want to hear (read) some stories.
I was walking back from my exam earlier today, positively glowing with happiness and relief (a rare thing for me these days) at never having to discuss or read about goddamn prehistoric archaeology ever again, when, at the corner of my eye, I see someone quickly turn around who looked suspiciously like the last guy I dated. Needless to say, it was a REALLY bad break up that earned him the moniker "The Asshole." The striking thing was not that he was standing there apparently waiting for someone in the middle of the day when he should be at work. No, what struck me was how bad he looked. He did not look attractive at all. It got me wondering about why the heck I was attracted to him in the first place. He was not wearing flattering clothing and he had a pretty bad hair cut. He also looked really thin. For some reason, I got a kick out of that. Actually, it totally made my day.
So here's my question: what was the best situation in which you ran into an ex or anyone you didn't like? I want to know about times where you know that you walked away from an encounter as the "winner." Or also, any case of Shadenfreude (taking pleasure in someone else's misfortune) you've experienced and why it happened (you can't help but laugh when karma bites someone in the ass). I don't think my example really applies to that last thing because I don't know for sure if he got fired or if he's unhappy or both. But I did take pleasure in the fact that he looked awful (and that I happened to look cute and happy instead of my usual sleepy and pissed off) and that he couldn't face me out of embarassment, particularly when he's the one who made the last contact.
I'm counting on you guys to not make me feel bad about this confession. By the way, be honest. No one's here to judge. Even if you regret them now, I want to hear (read) some stories.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jessica on -
Public break-ups...those are the worse. You have to tell the break-up story a million times and every time you try to move on, someone has to bring that shit up. Horrible.
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Permalink Reply by MDS on -
You touch my car, I'm going to do more than just slice body parts off. I'm slicing bodies UP and making them disappear forever.
Cars are OFF limits.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica on
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It's a pretty cowardly thing to do stuff to someone's car. I agree, mutilation would be deserved for doing that.
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Permalink Reply by MDS on
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While I agree that it's cowardly... it's not just the car. Some people would loose their jobs without their vehicles to get back and forth to work, some rely ON their vehicles for work. Hell, the costs of getting new tires is expensive... going and getting a paintjob, replacing windows, fixing stuff... that could break a person financially for years.
Then of course, there's the whole legal issue of being able to prove that someone damaged the car, and now they are after ME for the payments to fix it. Or the jail time you could be facing....
There's lots of reasons to leave cars alone. But the BIGGEST reason is because taking anger and resentment out on an inanimate object just makes no damn sense.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica on
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I know. I was trying to find an equivalent for that but I couldn't. Cars are such a huge investment and there would be no way to prove who did anything to yours. That's why it's a bitch move to do something to someone else's. I don't have a car but I can understand how much it can mean to someone considering how dependent on it some people are and everything they have to put into maintaining it. I nearly went insane when the metro workers went on strike and I had to take taxis to go to work. You have to rearrange your life when your main method of transportation gets deactivated for whatever reason.
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Permalink Reply by Crook3d-Lenz on -
Well, I can relate to both recent exes. Although, I dated them merely because at the time of dating, I myself had lacked the self-esteem I needed. So which actually, If you have low self-esteem you date people on how you feel. Or who you may think you are only able to get. Whichever. Anyways, It's a small small world around my state lol. I run into or at least hear stuff about my exes all the time. Which I have a son by my recent ex. Which he is a hoot to even begin with!! Anyways....It always makes me feel better to talk to him. He is book smart, a math whiz, great at grammar, great at spelling, and knows a lot of nonsense. Although...HOW CAN SOMEONE be extremely book smart yet common sense ignorant?! Seriously? ...Anyways, he tries to through that in my face all the time on how smart he is, and this and that blah blah blah. Which HE is now going back to school and is taking psychology. He came and talked to me one day and we got into this debat, discussion whichever about why we like or do the things we do. And well, I was like have you ever listened to a word I said while we dated for the two years we dated?! I will be honest here, I have never read a psychological book in my life and he said I was talking about things that his professor was explaining to them. And why did I not ever talk as if i was smart when we dated. ?? Uhhhhhmmm? Do you have to talk smart or always make yourself to look smart? To be smart? Which to me smart is just a label like anything else. Anyways... His family would put me down, because "to them I wasn't as smart as them" "I worked at a gas station" ...blah blah blah. Well their son got kicked out the Navy, and Can't really keep a job, thinks he is like this Extremely smart person, who if you correct him, thinks that you are only doing it because HE IS SMART and you are trying to make him look dumb. (he is flying on his ego btw) Anyways...Now he is going to school, smoking pot (no offence to pot smokers), skipping classes (which doesn't really look good nor is it remotely responsible) and guess where he works?!!!!!!!! EXACTLY WHERE I USED TO WORK! LMAO, and his entire family would put me down for that. WTF? Anyways, I am now going into the Army (which he even told me how I wouldn't make it past the ASVAB testing-nor get the job I wanted) which I have. And...He even thought that signing papers for my parents to have guardianship over our son would benefit him. When in all actuality it has turned around and bit him in the ass HARD!!! Because he has no way to get full custody now. Even once i join the Army, he is attempting to take him away (Psssh !) He is just all sorts of jealous because I am going to actually go somewhere with my life, and he won't. && The fact that I will actually succeed in getting through the Army which he was kicked out of his. ANd guess who is begging me back? HE is!!! Haha....No. So yeah everyday just keeps getting better for me. (sorry if this was hard to understand)
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Permalink Reply by Jessica on
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Oh my! Quite a story. And you have the added complication of having a kid together. It's too bad that he and his family can't be respectful of you for your son's sake, at the very least. Congrats on your success in the Army, by the way. :)
As a psych student myself, I see all the time how dangerous people who think they know everything can get. And most of the stuff in the psych books isn't completely supported or is really biased. A lot of those who come up with any explanations for behaviour can become so blinded by their own "genius" that they can't see any contradicting evidence (you'll find these people mainly in the pop psychology/self help sections of any bookstores). You can come up with the same, or even better theories if you're intuitive and if you know how to read people somewhat accurately.
I hope your ex does get his act together for your son's sake. It's never a good thing for a kid to grow up without a father or with a father who's unable to take his responsibilities seriously. He should try to be a better role model.
I don't get the nerve of people who put you down to bring themselves up, and then try to get back together with you. That's insane to me. Are they completely blind to their own behaviour? Or is it some kind of twisted challenge for themselves when they get really bored?
About dating choices and self esteem, I can relate to that. I've made some bad decisions just for that kind of approval or attention. And I've gone against my better judgment for the same reasons. I'm glad you've also had that realization so now you can be more objective and assertive about what you want and what you refuse to accept.
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Permalink Reply by JudyIsabel on -
I messed up real bad..my ex's car..I don't REGRET it..I wish I would've have burn it down with fire and watch it blazin on fire..I wasted 7yrs and 1 child out of this and he cheated when I went out the country to MEXICO..to check my home there and what does he DO FUCKS..A WHORE..MY EX -friend in OUR CAR..with MY MONEY..My life.
Next f u c k e r THAT cheats on me..He will be 6 feet under..I don't take mistrust lightly and I make them pay with it.
pay back is a bitch.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica on
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I have to admit...your post frightened me. However, I completely understand why you would be that angry. I'm sure paint on a car is nothing compared to the stress and pain you were put through, but I'm not sure if vandalism or...um...arson or... *cough* murder is quite the solution to getting some closure. Anywho, all I can say is that there are some great guys out there who would rather die than even think of doing what your ex did to you (finally found one!!! HURRAY!), so you shouldn't give up hope. And you may not believe in karma but there is some comfort in the idea that somehow, the universe is going to take care of him for you in some way. At least something presumably good came out of all that: your child.
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