If it's crap ... We'll tell you
The search for the ten commandments, of the Skyrim legend Garfieldius, has begun. Put your suggestions below and give the pussy warrior the established badassery status that fits his awesomeness.
You're in need of some ideas? So, your quest may require the in-depth study of the birth of the bloodiest Cat ever during Skyrim's playthroughs.
The Adventures of Garfieldius (Here)
The Further Adventures of Garfieldius (Here)
The Latest Adventures of Garfieldius (Here)
Good Luck Bitchez!
Poster by Meksicano
Thou shall leave no wild beast unslain.
Thou shall use thine barbs only on the crazy bitches.
Beware the trappings of the booty flute.
Thou shall not covet thy neighbors chicken.
Thou shall not remove thy clothes lest there is need of great speed.
Mayhaps not my best effort, but it's a start I guess.....
If it can be killed, kill it.
If it can't be killed, kill it.
If you don't feel like killing something just be a cool cat.
Behave as if there were people watching your awesomeness.
1 Thou shalt kill
2 Thou shalt fuck
3 Thou shalt consume Skooma
4 Thou shalt drinkith the booze
5 Thou shalt look awesome
6 Thou shalt fuck demons only when thou fucks them to death
7 Thou shalt eat only that which thou has killed or stolen
8 Thou shalt steal
9 Thou shalt not kill chikens
10 Thou shalt sleep sixteen hours a day
Garfieldius shall never land upon his feet.
Garfieldius shall kill all who mock the holy mohawk.
Garfieldius shall murder all of RiverFuck and murder their children and their childrens children. Their childrens childrens children shall be inpregnated/raped so they may have children...and they may be killed.
Garfieldius shall explore every option of beasteality with his barbed penis. From the chickens to the barmaidens to the dragons. Let us not forget the Yarl and the trolls.
Garfieldius shall crucify all dogs, wolves and dog/wolf people...on the barbed penis of the great mohawk bearer.
Garfieldius the movie will only be narrated by Morgan Freeman, Sam Elliot or Micheal Ironside. Else all studios will burn and all studio heads will be raped by barbed penis and spured to death by thy mohawk of doom.
Garfieldius shall sing the catlius translation of "Whoop that trick" as his battlecry.
Garfieldius shall sing Slayer while traversing the roads of Skyrim.
Garfieldius shall scream "Fuck Billy" or "Nickypoo is dead to me" or "Proffessor Jeff is my CuddleBear" when ejactulating.
Garfieldius shall remember skooma and the booty flute are a bad mix.
Garfieldius shall spend half his gold on mohawk upkeep for it is the true source of his strength.
Garfieldius while in vampire form can fly more than six inches off the ground, he is usually too drunk to do so.
The most sacred commandment of Garfieldius "Meeow, meow meow, rooooooowwww, meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow, meow."
Garfieldius and his spurred penis are to mighty for only ten commandments.