If it's crap... We'll tell you
Why Picard is better than Kirk.
Picard > Kirk
1) Picard outwits Q time and again, Kirk saved from Trelane's by Trelane's parents.
2) Picard sends first officer to barren planets while he stays on board with babes.
3) Kirk ex-flame: Dowdy scientist, Picard's ex-flame: Former member of 60's supergoup "The Mamas and the Papas."
4) Picard actually smarter than his first officer.
5) Hair loss = high testosterone. 'Nuff said.
6) Picard would never let chief engineer swell up to planetoid size.
7) Klingons: Drag Kirk to ice prison, allow Picard to choose their leader.
8) Picard necks with chicks in the Jefferies tube.
9) Kirk has wimpy lunch served to him by yeoman, Picard fixes own damn food in the replicator.
10) Kirk never told a member of the bridge crew to "shut up."
11) Picard beat up two Klingons in a Klingon slum.
12) Picard's brother actually played by a different actor than Picard.
13) Kirk grudgingly allows one woman to be hit by truck to correct timeline, Picard sends entire starship crew to flaming deaths.
14) Kirk near 60: thinking of retirement; Picard near 60: still in prime.
15) At academy, Picard noted for marathon skill, Kirk called "stack of books with legs."
16) Kirk bothered by mild astigmatism, Picard kicks ass for forty years with artificial heart.
17) Three words: No beer gut
18) Kirk fights has-been Greek god, Picard worshipped as god.
19) The Picard Maneuver
20) Picard never split into "naughty" and "nice" halves.
21) Kirk: Subjects Spock to court-martial; Picard: Allows Worf to whack a guy with only a reprimand.
22) Kirk: Chews crew members out for engaging in bar braw; Picard: Takes on Naussicans
23) Kirk: Sobs like a baby when son dies; Picard: Laughs like a hyena when stabbed through heart
24) Kirk: Dukes it out with doppelganger; Picard: Doesn't waste time: Shoots doppelganger with phaser
25) Kirk has booze given to him; Picard family makes its own damn wine.
26) Kirk: Spends few minutes aboard Romulan vessel in disguise; Picard: Makes it all the way to Romulus and back.
27) Picard collects archeological relics; Kirk IS archeological relic.
28) Picard manages to have entire conversations with Lursa and Betor without staring at their cleavage.
29) Picard made Spock cry.
30) Picard merged with Sarek.
31) Picard only wears toupees for flashback scenes.
32) Picard would have figured out that "V'ger" thing in about five minutes.
33) Picard never called self "Kirok" and dressed in leftover costumes from "Oklahoma."
34) Kirk didn't have the good sense to turn down the admiralty like Picard did.
35) Let's face it....it may have made a great character moment, but when you get right down to it, Kirk CHEATED on his biggest academy test!
36) Dorky spacesuit count: Kirk 2, Picard 0.
37) Picard secure enough not to keep display of guns on his apartment wall.
38) Picard knows that "horgon" doesn't mean the end of a date.
39) Picard never wore gray pajamas on the bridge.
40) Picard wouldn't have had to be forced to kiss Uhura.
Picard is not a homo.
Here are even more.
When Picard marries a couple, he doesn't lose the groom in battle.
Picard can speak in more languages than Kirk has ever heard.
Kirk was the first captain to see a Romulan, but Picard went to Romulus
& kicked their butts.
Kirk never met an alien (female) he didn't like...
Kirk bested an old, tired has-been called Apollo, while Picard has bested
an omnipotent being several times.
Picard can be vulnerable with women.
Picard has better taste in recreation (who needs a local bar when you've
got a holodeck).
Picard looks better as a detective than Kirk does as a gangster.
Picard got to crown the leader of the Klingon high council.
Picard saved the Federation from the space bugs.
Picard became a Borg.
Picard can quote Shakespeare & doesn't need spectacles to read it.
Picard can fence.
Picard makes a better Romulan than Kirk does.
Picard is a wine connaisseur.
Picard punches Ferengi as well as Kirk ever punched the wimpy Klingons
of the first series.
Picard never let a bald midget in a dwarf ship with a scary dummy fake
him out for an entire episode.
Picard didn't let some female with a loose screw take over his body & his
ship while sticking him in her body.
Picard hasn't EVER had to spend an entire episode ridding his ship of
furry hairballs which reproduce.
Picard doesn't lose as many red shirts.
Picard has killed Klingons in hand to hand combat on several different
occasions.
Picard has broken the Prime Directive at least a dozen times.
Picard can swear in Klingon.
Kirk never climbed a turbo shaft with a foxy lady & got it on in the
bowels of the ship.
Kirk never mind melded with a Vulcan to help the VULCAN with his self
control.
And finally.....
.....I think no further comment is necessary.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Badman3000 on -
Right on!
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Permalink Reply by Winner of Red Shirt Survivor on -
Sisko>Picard>Kirk
Go ahead and say no. Then watch "In the Pale Moonlight" and "Far Beyond the Stars". If you say no again, consult your local spiritual leader on the possibilities of exorcism.
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Permalink Reply by spyro republic commando on -
You said that picard was blad because he had high testoserone. But Kirk was bald too what made him bald
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Permalink Reply by jack burton on -
JLP has the best bald spot ever!...{Mine} Hahaaa
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