If it's crap ... We'll tell you
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Toliken
I Funny by James Patterson
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
Reading has slowed at bit. I'm currently almost done with Wool, The Extinction Machine and The Bone People. I was in the middle of The Elegance of the Hedgehog but I'll probably have to start over.
The Monk by. Mathwew Lewis
Debt of Honor by Tom Clancy.
This month I have been reading the Fly Frog series.
Felix on the Move starts with our protagonist Felix laying around the house,napping, playing in the garden and giving presents to his family (he loves them so much). One day a big van comes and all the furniture disappears. Then they stick Felix in a cat basket and hand him off to the removal men. I take issue with this on two counts. 1 - If you are going to move house at least take a minute to explain to your cat what is happening and 2 - Take the cat with you when you move, do not leave it in the hands of starngers in the form of removal men. Alls well in the end when the family are reunited in their new home and Felix can have a nap again. The moral seems to be not to fear change.
Grandpas Car. Now this is some bullshit. Grandpa and Alfie are going shopping, Alfie wants to take the bus, Grandpa wants to take his car, but his car is old, it's very old. It goes bang, it goes whizz, it goes whizz bang. The wheels fall off and they just dump it at the side of the road and get the bus, the end. What the fuck is that shit? They just abandon the car. No mechanic, no tow truck just leave it there hanging to bits with smoke bellowing out. The end. What kind of arc is that? Avoid.
Selfish Sophie is another twisted moral tale. Sophie is a sour faced little shit that would make lemons cry. She shares nothing because she is a greedy cunt. She goes to the zoo with her class and it starts to rain. At this point she walks up to Jake and tells him 'I'm getting very wet.' Tart. Jake gives in and is pussy whipped within seconds. Then they sit together on the bus and giggle all the way home. Empowering females? This is worse than MTV.
I know this is a joke post, but the Cat story reminded me of this, which is the best animal moving story I've ever read.
...actually, to my recollection it's the only animal moving story I've read (unless you count Jack London stories) but it's pretty damn tough to beat.
Just you wait for next weeks reviews of Junie B Jones and the Stupid Smelly bus and the A-Z Mysteries first instalment, The Absent Author. Will give the link a proper spy after work, its teach time for me yet again!
I'm currently reading "The Great Duke" by Arthur Bryant. It's a biography focusing on the military career of Sir Arthur Wellesly, 1st Duke of Wellington (if you've read the Sharpe series you know who he is). Pretty interesting, showing how ahead of his time the man was, and how little he cared for personal glory (or the concept of glory in war in general). Starts with his early days in Holland and India where he brought down hitherto invincible Mahratta warlords before returning to Britain and serving against the Danes and eventually becoming Commander in Chief during the Peninsular War (I've just finished the part about the Battle of Bussaco). It's suppossed to carry on to his victory at Waterloo and his career in England in the aftermath of 2 decades of war.
The Plot: In the distant future, the human population is roughly 1/10th what it is now. In this world there is one law above all others, violence is forbidden. Their entire justice system and economy is based on interactions done in an online game called Epic. A poor kid named Eric, creates a drastically different avatar, and turns both the virtual and physical world upside down.
The Verdict: Rental. Not bad, but didn't live up to my high sci-fy standards. It has a serious tone the whole way through, which made a few scenes unintentionally funny to me. The world isn't that believable to me. For example, the events that lead up to this world are not focused on. It also loses points for violating the rule of Chekov's Gun. I had fun with it. I would call it a popcorn book, a lot of tasty fluff, but not really satisfying, even if it is trying to appeal to my gamer side. I will pass on the other two books in this trilogy.
The Plot: Nick and Amy have been married for 5 years now. Amy's parents are the author's of a long running children's story, with Amy as the main character in the books. On the morning of their 5th anniversary, Nick returns home to find evidence of a struggle and Amy nowhere to be found. As the evidence piles up, Nick becomes the primary suspect in the crime. He must figure out who did it before he is wrongly arrested. However, the criminal could be anyone from an obsessed fan of the children's books to someone after the parents money.
The Verdict: Full Price. I almost gave this a better than sex. This book can be dark at times, but knows when to lighten up. I liked the fact that you are not supposed to like the couple, both people have there drawbacks. The investigation turns up more than a few bumps in the marriage, which makes these characters seem more human. The twists and turns in the story seem organic and not forced. It gives enough clues early on that you could guess the criminal, but also plants enough red herrings to still be fun. In fact, I guessed the real criminal fairly early on, but was mislead by a red herring. I only take off points because I thought I found a few plot holes, but will have to re-read the book to make sure I didn't misunderstand something. I really do recommend this to any of you that like thriller or mystery novels.
Red Storm Rising, my fave Tom Clancy. This is about my fifth rereading.
Blackjack Villain by Ben Bequer
Since getting my kindle, I found cheesy super hero novels can be quite fun. Some.. some suck horribly.
All I know of Blackjack is that his idea of being hardcore involves saying fuck.
Dune by Frank Herbert