If it's crap ... We'll tell you
The discussion had to happen as it does every year, and as opposed to just dropping a list in a one-note discussion that would better suit a blog like some people, I figure we can have an actual discussion about it and what these films represent, and not only about those two things, but about how this past year compares to those that came before it. After all, how can you judge the quality of the cinema you saw over the course of a year without having looked at what came beforehand?
This doesn't even have to be about a 'bottom 10' list, but about the worst movies in general. So, well, what're your thoughts?
I personally think this past year was just okay. 2011 was a much better year for movies. Last year had far worse movies than this year, but for every major 'fuck you' movie like Jack & Jill or Big Momma's 3 or The Roommate, there was something absolutely amazing like Attack The Block or I Saw The Devil or Drive, and I think the ratio of good/bad last year was well tipped in good's favor, a rarity. This year, there was so much 'meh', with very little amazing stuff or 'fuck you' stuff to shake up the balance. Allow me to post my 'Worst of' lists from 2012 and 2011.
10. The Oogieloves/Branded (tie) versus Atlas Shrugged Part 1
9. Gone versus Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World
8. Here Comes The Boom versus Beastly
7. The Apparition versus Red Riding Hood
6. A Thousand Words versus Zookeeper
5. Beneath The Darkness versus The Dilemma
4. Red Dawn versus The Roommate
3. The Devil Inside versus Jack And Jill
2. Parental Guidance versus Sucker Punch
1. Atlas Shrugged Part 2 versus Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star
Dishonorable Mentions: (2012) Trouble With The Curve, The Darkest Hour, Stolen, The Expendables 2, The Possession, Alex Cross, Playing For Keeps, Iron Sky, The Man With The Iron Fists, Pirahna 3DD, The Raven, What To Expect When You're Expecting, Think Like A Man, Man On A Ledge, Chernobyl Diaries, One For The Money, Mirror Mirror, (2011) Big Momma's 3: Like Father Like Son, Just Go With It, The Sitter, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1, Mr. Popper's Penguins, Meek's Cutoff, The Smurfs, Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Your Highness, Arthur, and Bloodrayne 3
I mean, I compare the two lists of movies, and 2012 just doesn't compare to the likes of shit that 2011 carried with it. My worst movie of 2012 (Atlas Shrugged Part 2) would probably only make a #9 on the 2011 list, and a movie in my 'Dishonorable Mentions' for 2011, Meek's Cutoff, would probably make #4 on the 2012 list. Hell, 2012 didn't even have a Twilight movie that made my list, and I fucking hate those movies!
So, what does this all mean? I think it means that the either the studios are finally learning or the moviegoing public is thanks to things like Netflix and Redbox. Either way, some people are developing tastes. Most of the stuff on the 'Worst Of' list for 2012 was stuff I had to go find because they were doing poorly at the box office or almost-straight to video, in order to feel like I saw enough shitty movies this year (Branded, The Oogieloves, Beneath The Darkness, Gone, Stolen, Playing For Keeps, Iron Sky). My 2011 list was dominated by mass release movies (with the notable exception of Bucky Larson, which thankfully didn't do so well).
I'd also say that it is because we managed to dodge some major bullets too. When Lionsgate (or MGM- I forget which) was liquidating those movies that had been sitting on the shelf for years (like Red Dawn and Cabin In The Woods), they were gracious enough to not allow certain movies like The Biggest Movie Of All Time In 3D (Friedberg/Seltzer's latest!) off that same shelf, and we've been spared. To them, I say thank you.
the oogieloves is one of those movies that's just so bad you love it. I think that That's my Boy or the Tim and Eric movie would deserve a spot on their instead of the oogieloves
Holy shit I totally forgot about that upcoming Seltzerberg crapsterpiece being in the works!
God, Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, Chtulu, Flying Spaghetti Monster, whichever one of ya'll is up there....thank you. Thank you thank you thannnnnnnnk you....
Hm, is your #10 spot reserved for movies that are 'So bad they're good", like Carlyle's were? Because, good lord, both of those movies (and Iron Sky) look tremendously entertaining.
Naw, not really, although my list this year looks like it gives off that impression. I just couldn't decide between Branded and The Oogieloves, as practically the entire time watching them I was wondering whether people were stoned as they put those movies together.
While the summer season was kind of disappointing (it peaked with The Avengers), I'd still say it remained relatively positive this year. Maybe not AS much as last year, but I think the balance was still there. We got great early surprises/successes with Chronicle and The Grey and Haywire, Beasts Of The Southern Wild came out of nowhere to quickly becoming one of my new favorites, easily jumping on top of my personal Best Of 2012, I actually enjoyed Think Like A Man and Paranorman more than I thought I would've, and of course you got the year end "Oscar" movies that honestly, for the most part were all pretty damn solid all around. Sure some of them maybe be lonnnng as fuck, having pacing problems as a result, but considering from the usual fare we tend to get come Oscar season, Hollywood actually brought it. I'm not sensing a "The King's Speech" or "The Help" or god forbid "The Blind Side" mucking up this year's Academy Awards is what I'm saying.
I don't think there was that unanimously agreed upon kickass movie of 2012, but overall it was been a year of More Than Pleasant Surprises.
Which brings us to what you said about the Worst Of 2012. All in all most of the worst movies of the year like Here Comes The Boom and The House On The End Of Wherever The Fuck were just generically cheap and forgettable. They all deserved at MOST a Some Ol' Bullshit, don't get me wrong, but good fucking GODDDDD...last year's movies were competing for worst of the fucking decade. There was just some AMAZINGLY insulting shit that they expected to us to by last year. Like, MAYBE Oogieloves and Branded are going to go down as those legendarly bad movies in time, but the likes of Beastly and Bucky Larson and Jack and Jill were just painful. Bucky and J&J are supposed to be Adult Swim PARODIES on how stupid Hollywood can get, and the fact that they did it COMPLETELY STRAIGHT FACED and expected people to fork over $10 bucks in theaters and $30 on Blu-ray, that's just an all time low. All. Fucking. Time. I wanted to throw up every time I saw that goddamn Adam Sandler in drag DVD cover smirking at me....
So maybe just by the sheer luxury of comparison, this year's crop of Bad didn't seem that painful since last year's crop set the new low.
I liked Iron Sky. Attack The Block was "absolutely amazing"??? Apart from the creatures, I think not. The Roommate I only watched because she makes my cock hard (try sitting through Country Strong haha). Beneath the Darkness?? The Appartion?? great year for comedies it seems.
This may just be me, but a lot of movies that people call 'So Bad They're Good', I usually don't end up laughing at them. Jaws: The Revenge is one of those movies I don't laugh at, and I consider it one of the very worst movies I've ever seen. Beneath the Darkness and The Apparition just couldn't do it for me. I just sat there bored at the first movie and a little exhausted at the second.