If it's crap... We'll tell you

Reverse sexism...should I just get over it?

Today something happened which was quite unsettling. Early this morning, I was speaking to a co-worker in his partitioned cubicle. It was close enough to hear the receptionist greet a client. I could gather who she was from the greeting. It was an early morning meeting to work out the finer details of this prototype job I’d been involved with over the last few weeks. I had told our receptionist that I was expecting this customer, would be awaiting her arrival, and that she should be escorted to the shop floor to meet me.

At this point the receptionist felt it necessary to mention, “There’s no missing him. He’s a hundred kilos of man-meat.”

My stomach sank. I felt like a dog as I followed them into the factory seconds later, pretending nothing happened. Growing up as an ethnic minority in the South, you would think I’d have a thicker skin. I mean, I was called nigger like it was my surname. But this was all too real and cut too deep. I was upset the rest of the day. Having grown up with the respect of others as one of my father’s highest priorities, this somehow blindsided me.

Even now that I’m home enjoying a Scotch, it’s wearing on me. Am I being too precious? Should I make a stink about it, or should I just let it go?

Tags: minority, racism, sexism, work

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Permalink Reply by corey vire on February 17, 2009 at 12:49am: Depends, are you talking to a man in describing the huge knockers? Because we talk to each ither like this all the time. So I'm still failing to see the problem. Would he be more offended if he had been called the 100 kilo tub of goo? I love how people get upset at raunchy compliments. All she did was call him hot. duh. grow a pair and get over it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Lab Rat on February 17, 2009 at 6:58am: Yeah..I'd probably be a tub of goo if I weren't always chasing my kids around.
As far as growing a pair, I'd have to say they dropped in Kuwait in '91 and grew hair towards the end of '92, hoping I didn't have to blow the head off another Black man in Somalia. But I don't think either of those periods led me to a disrespect of other people because of their race, gender, or appearance. Maybe they did things differently where you're from.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by corey vire on February 18, 2009 at 1:25am: Hey you're a veteran good for you. Has nothing to do witht the topic. I got my dd-214 serving from 89-98 with 6 of those years on submarine duty. Do not pull that card on me chief. Calling you hot in a round about way is far from disrespectful.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Timmy Cupcakes on February 17, 2009 at 9:55am: No, but where is she, I want to meet her.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kizmania on February 17, 2009 at 12:18pm: I would say just get over it...

I've been referred to as a piece of man meat the better part of my life...It sometimes hurts to know that they just want me me for my smoking hot bod, but I carry on...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Costa_K on February 17, 2009 at 12:27pm: Regardless of the situation and gender, that's no way for a fucking secretary to be talking.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Conejita on February 17, 2009 at 5:40pm: For me, it would depend on whether it was said directly to me or to someone else. It sounds like you overheard this receptionist talking to someone else rather than her saying it directly to you, so I'd just let it go. People speak differently depending on who they are with and where they are. I mean, you can't change who a person is or how they act when they think no one is looking.

If she had out right said this to your face, and it made you uncomfortable, it would make much more sense to confront her and explain that she's over stepping personal boundaries, seeing as you're in a professional environment and you hardly know these people you are working with.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by The Insidious Dr. Fu Manchu on February 17, 2009 at 6:38pm: Eh, tough call. You definitely have to learn to pick your battles. But I would pull her aside and politely tell her that the way she refers to you on her own time is her business, but in a professional environment, especially when speaking to clients, she is expected to conduct herself cordially, and anything else reflects poorly on both the business and herself as a professional.

Don't be mean or harsh about it, just very calm and firm, and there's no need to be explicit -- she'll immediately know exactly what you're talking about, and will probably think the client told you. But she needs to know that that's not the way you expect things to be done. I imagine that she'd be so mortified that you heard she won't be able to look you in the face. Just to be safe, I would go to a superior afterwards and inform them of the situation and how you've handled it, just so she can't go running over your head and crying that you've browbeaten her. This may garner you respect in your new workplace.

But ultimately, it's up to you. You may wake up in the morning and decide it's not worth the trouble.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by TheRootman on February 17, 2009 at 7:09pm: ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by MDS on February 17, 2009 at 10:05pm: I'd have to say that you are being a bit too 'sensative' for a one time event. As a fellow 'southern boy' how many times have you either BEEN called "honey/sweetie" by a waitress, or called a waitress "Honey" just when ordering tea? It's nothing to get all bent out of shape if it happened only one time.

Now, if it's a developing pattern of repeated comments that are deemed to be 'inappropriate' in the work place? Well, in that case I would mention it privately to the young lady in question, and just say something down the lines of "If it's possible could you keep an eye out for XXXXX because some people are starting to get worried about it?" Basically you bring it to her attention that she is doing it without you mentioning she's doing it in regard to you. Once she's now conscience of the fact she's doing it, she'll start to think about it more and more and pay more attention to what she's saying and probably either stop, or at least cut-back. If that doesn't work, the tell her again, onlt this time tell her you noticed she's doing it ABOUT you and it makes you uncomfortable.; ▶ Reply to This