If it's crap ... We'll tell you
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J.A.R.V.I.S joined Cyrus's groupWow, just when i thought i had seen the bottom of the barrel, i see this BULLSHIT! If you think the Paranormal Activity movies are bad with white people doing stupid shit, you haven't seen ANYTHING yet.
PLOT: The movie opens off with a group of friends at some beach, being filmed on a camera that looks like it was buried up from the 70's and is asking to be put out of its misery. After a whole bunch of nothing, it cuts off to present day(2006). It shows the same group of friends getting on a boat with some flashbacks with who seems to be the main character and her dad swimming somewhere, who the fuck cares. The guy who owns the boat has some stupid blonde whore who is annoying as hell and won't shut up. EVERYONE in this movie is SO unlikable, i honestly didn't give a shit what happened to them because they were so damn unlikable. Anyways, everyone decides to go on a swim, and the main character who has a baby with her goes up and is talking to the owner of the boat. This jackass jumps into the water, forcing her with him, and she nearly blacks out. This dumbass forgot to put the ladder down, so everyone is stuck in the water. For the next 10 minutes, everyone is trying to jump and reach up the boat, not realizing this shit isn't going to work. The main character's husband tries to go under the boat trying to find an entry point, drops the knife, goes back up and hits his head on the engine. HOW THE HELL he comes back up WITH THE GODDAMN KNIFE is unknown. The dumb slut who came along for the ride tries to stop the 2 dumbasses from fighting, and they eventually one of them gets stabbed,and eventually dies. The bitch swims off, is tried to be saved but drowns, fucking finally after this bitch tried drowning everyone. Anyways, after everyone else has died off, the 2 remaining characters get on the boat, they're rescued by a boat the end happily ever after.
PROS: none whatsoever, keep scrolling
CONS: HOLY SHIT HERE WE GO! First, the editing in this movie is FUCKING ATROCIOUS. A 30 second scene has 6 DIFFERENT SHOTS, FUCKING 6!! This wouldn't be a problem if you couldn't tell, but it's so blatantly clear when they change the shot. Second, the characters were bland and annoying. Third, the story was SHIT, i didn't care about anyone or the shitty flashback story with the girl and her father that they were trying to tell, although it is a main plot device, sorta. FOURTH AND MOST IMPORTANT, THERE ARE NO SHARKS!! That's right, NO FUCKING SHARKS, which was the MAIN PLOT of the first movie! You would think by the box art that there is at least 1 SHARK BUT NO, NONE HERE.
FINAL CONCLUSION AND SCORE: Overall, this movie is a piss poor, bottom of the barrel, direct to dvd type of sequel, which i will review another soon. I fucking hated this 97 MINUTES of NOTHING piece of shit, and was pissed off even though i saw it free of charge. Even if you like to watch movies that are bad to make fun of them, PLEASE don't watch this one, it's boring shit and 97 I won't be getting back
This movie is a HUGE FUCK YOU!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Art Vandelay on November 18, 2012 at 2:02am When white people get a yacht? Who the fuck else is gonna get a yacht?
Permalink Reply by Jagernaut343 on November 18, 2012 at 6:11pm *stupid white people
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