MY TRANSFORMERS 2 AKA MORE ROBOT BULLSHIT REVIEW.

What is the GREATEST MOVIE EVER? A movie with robots and lots of explosions? NO. Now look I'm not a HATER of Transformers but I'm not a fan. With the first movie, I didn't see it in a theater, I saw it on DVD. And while I did like all the cool action scenes, the whole movie was stupid. Let's face it, when you've got a Transformer peeing on a Federal agent, or when you've got John Tuturo pulling down his pants just so we can laugh at the silly underwear that he's wearing, or when you have a robot acting like some kind of rapper that you would see on MTV you have a pretty silly movie. And not to forget the stupid plot, a map to show where a mysterious cube is that holds power to create more robots all written on some guys glasses, I mean look me in the face and tell me that doesn't sound retarded.

Now I will say, hearing The Spill Crew's review was kinda predictable but I was shocked to hear that the guy who bends over for MIcheal Bay (Sorry Carlyle) didn't even like the movie. So, going in I had my expectations VERY LOW. I went and saw this with a pact crowd. Now not to be judgmental but lets say the crowd was more of the lower educated group. I'm not lying, some of them looked like some of the people from Idiocracy. I'm serious, I knew this crowd was going to love it regardless.

Now as I mentioned, I had fun with the first Transformers, it had great action but alot of stupid silliness. So, when you work on a sequel, usually the good sequels take what they did wrong with the first one and fix those problems in the second film. So, if Micheal Bay was half that smart he would've made this movie with less silliness and show a lot more cool action scenes that blow you away. OH FUCK NO!! Micheal Bay did it backwards, he made the movie with even more stupid jokes and less robots fighting.

Now it was a good thing that I got a warning from Spill and other critics to warn me. Otherwise I would've been pissed to the max walking out of this movie. I don't think I need to mention the fact of the two autobots who talk like ignorant black people in the most offensive way. They ARE the Jar Jar Binks of this movie. Now before all you Transformer fans and kids get mad at me and say "But I thought they were funny" Here's why adding a character or characters like this is bad. When you have a movie involving a group of characters on a mission and you have one or two characters who are only there to make random jokes every now and then, you are distracting the audience from the plot. Instead of you following the story you got your focus on a silly character who is being silly only to be silly. Without that, they have no purpose in the movie. And usually when movies do this, distracting you from the plot, it's clear its a bad plot and a bad movie and they try to distract you by trying to make you laugh. Now people who can't point that out (All Transformer fans) will argue saying, "I liked those characters they were funny" Meanwhile they rest of us who aren't laughing and can see passed the silly characters and are trying to watch the movie, get annoyed by those annoying characters and want them to shut up.

Another point I want to make, when we think of Transformers, we expect it to be about giant robots beating the shit out of each other. Not an hour long wanna be Indiana Jones adventure with Shia Labouf, Megan Fox, Bumblebee, and four other annoying characters. We don't want to see them try to find the pyramids that talk about what the mysterious symbols that Shia Labouf sees and make stupid looking faces while drawing them randomly after looking at a piece of metal. (Does that not sound retarded?)

Now you would probably say "The plot is stupid and the jokes are silly but there's cool action right?" WRONG. Look in the first movie, the final battle at the end was cool because all the robots were fighting each other while all the backround characters (Humans) were running for their lives. In this one, there are just about three fight scenes total (I counted) one in the end with Optumis Prime against the Fallen, one with Optimus Prime against other robots in the woods, and one with Bumblebee against another robot, all those fight scenes lasted a total of 11 minutes together. The BIG fight is just explosions with Shia Labouf and Megan Fox running and the robots in the backround. There is about a few hot scenes of hot Megan Fox Shots, three scenes with another hot Chick, total of 5 minutes. So, in a Two in a Half Hour movie there are about 16 minutes of good stuff. Does that sound like this was THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE? If not tell me all the other great stuff that I must've missed from this movie. Because you Transformer fans know more than us non Transformer fans. Now look if you LOVE Transfomers I really don't care, and good for you. You are allowed to like whatever you like. But I HATE the Transformer fans who get mad at me when I tell them what I think think of Transfomers after they ask me and tell ME that I'M THE STUPID ONE!!!. Those are the people I get pissed about. And if you're one of those Transformer fans, don't comment on this review. Cause I don't want to deal with this bullshit anymore. So, go enjoy you're little robots and pretty explosions with pretty colors and go be entertained and leave me alone. And if you're going to ask me why I saw this movie anyway? I saw it so I can say I saw it and can defend myself if someone argues with me saying Transfomers 2 is GREAT. That's why, now I wish I can get 2 in a half hours of my life back.

Sorry for being mean, I've just delt with a lot of dumb Transformer fans that have pissed me off lately.

Overall this movie really went backwards and focused on adding more of what was BAD in the first movie than focus more on what was good about the movie. I don't know who thinks Micheal Bay is funny but I'll tell you I don't think so. What this movie should've done was introduce us to new characters of the decepticons and focus on ALL the autobots working together to fight off the decepticons. While having the humans caught in the middle asking the autobots to help. They should've focused on the Autobots more than this poorly written adventure and semi love story with Shia Labouf and Megan Fox, cause no one cares about the humans in a TRANSFORMERS MOVIE!!!!! Replace all the bad jokes with more robots fighting each other instead of just explosions and having robots in the middle of the explosions. This could've improved from the first one and instead of Micheal Bay going crazy with action he tries to show us how unfunny he really is.

OVERALL RATING:

SOME OLE BULLSHIT!!!