"Stan Lee Parkours!!!
http://marvelblogstuff.blogspot.com/2013/05/stan-lee-parkours.html"
The Spill Movie Community
If it's crap ... We'll tell you
Follow Spill!
Latest Activity
gambolingman posted a status"Star Trek Into Darkness:
A low full Price
The ending had some problems but it was very enjoyable."
Photos
&width=139&height=104)
Music
District 9- Lethal Weapon w/ A Giant Cockroach Instead of Danny Glover...Ok, It's Just Like Lethal Weapon
Was I watching a different movie from everyone else?
I can't believe that not only did I allow you swindlers, you hucksters, you bamboozlers to seduce me into watching this travesty, but that I dragged my friends off this precipice with me. A MIDNIGHT SHOWING NO LESS! Double shame on the knob-polishing critics.
This movie crucifies itself on subtext. The "social commentary" this movie builds itself around is about as developed and nuanced as the Vampire/Homosexual parallel in True Blood. In other words, total crap. Never does it go beyond the Evil White Corporation motif because the villains are just so uniformly and predictably bad that exploring the dynamics of the bureaucratic power structure and how it leads to apartheid would have been an embellishment for the one-dimensional caricatures running MNU. It's also about half as subtle as True Blood. I'd have never guessed what the Prawn were a metaphor for if Neil wasn't so nice as to set the movie in South African shantytowns and spare my little brain the strain of making a connection. Godwin's Law applies: Neil even squeezes in Concentration Camps. Not at all hamfisted...
If you're not going to derive any insight or emotional catharsis from your allegory, why even bother with it? "Oh look! This vaguely resembles this! It must be profound and equivocal!" Likewise, why are peripheral plots and sociological issues (e.g. the forced abortion scenes, the interspecies prostitution, etc.) that get little-to-no screen time vastly more interesting than the main plot line we do get? Instead, Neil gets his hard-on for big guns and blows his load for the next hour.
And why the hell is the black 'fluid' a plot device tour de force? It's simultaneously a fuel (apparently getting 3 light years to the gallon being contained in a canister the size of a cigar), yet the Prawns apparently couldn't stock up on it before coming to Earth, and a gene-altering biochemical agent that metamorphoses humans into Prawns? Really, nao? I understand that Prawn technology is bioengineered, explaining away the seeming inconsistency somewhat, but from a thematic standpoint it's too silly and convenient to have this Mr. Hyde potion in the middle of a movie that tries to ground itself in realism.
This movie has no plot. Yes, things happen and they do so in sequence, but there's no cohesion or purpose that propels the movie forward.
At first, it's a mundane faux documentary that beats the prawn=refugee imagery to death. You watch people get evicted by the military (about as engaging as it sounds) and the only twist (i.e. remotely interesting thing) is that they're aliens instead of black people. Occasionally the Prawns wild out and kick a guy across the screen or get executed. That's the high point. Worse yet, it's juxtaposed with interviewees telling us crap that either A) hasn't happened yet (way to spoil your own movie) or B) Is in the process of happening thus doesn't need to be elaborated upon or C) describing how stupid/awesome Wickus is. Aren't you supposed to show this stuff rather than tell it? I mean Christ, in a movie that's already too long the last thing it needs to do is segue away from the action to explain to me what I'm seeing.
Next, after the lead character gets infected... No. I don't even need to go past this. Having the lead magically (yes, it's magic and Arthur C. Clarke can suck my cock) become one of the Prawns so we can get him from Point A: an annoying, xenophobic twit, to Point B: Jesus H. Christ, with no personal growth on his part or him even showcasing some redeemable personality trait is sloppy and lazy. As cheap a narrative device as it sounds and the absolute equivalent of putting a white guy in black-face and having him learn "a lesson" about how "the other half" lives. We're supposed to feel some sort of emotional impact when Jerk McAwfulperson makes "the hard choice" despite his being self-serving only until continuing to do so would actually be counterproductive and his being an obsequious, weasel-faced douche the most positive thing you could say about the chap. And the dick gets a denouement as if anyone actually liked him! Oooh, his making paper mache bowls and other lackluster arts and crafts had a purpose after all and comes full circle! Genius! *teardrop*
Bored? Don't worry. The makers foresaw this and they'll gladly bombard you with NOISE NOISE NOISE and the always-loved SHAKY camera action for the ENTIRETY of the third act. Screw all those "characters" and that "drama" they pretended to be building-up and never mind that it's all amorphous and devoid of aim: Bullets fly endlessly and heads asplode! They have the gall to play this somber music the entire time this "Go on without me!" cliché is taking place as if what's going on on screen has any more tension or gravitas than a Resident Evil 5 co-op mission gone wrong. While in a mech, the lead shoots a pig at a mook if you had any doubts to how high-minded and mature the filmmakers were.
Finally, aware the faceless evil military (and angry negroes) wasn't cutting it as an antagonist, they shoehorn some Stone Cold Steve Austin lookalike to the front-line to act as the De Facto Big Bad. No character development, no motivation, no personality: he just "likes watching Prawns dies" in his words and antagonizing the lead scathingly despite there being no personal history between them. What a villain!
This is a buddy cop movie in Hotel Rwanda's clothing. Two guys from two different "races" interact and learn to understand/appreciate the other while blowing up evil white people. It takes place in Africa, though, so it's poignant! Lethal Weapon posing as shrewd and earnest satire. I've seen it all!
Lest I forget, Witchcraft-driven African cannibalism!!! In a movie with bloody walking, talking cockroaches they still felt the need to go the "Scary Voodoo Negroes" route? Never mind making Mudflap and Skidz look like Nelson Mandela; this makes the zombies in RE5 look racially-sensitive. Yes, I'm aware of the Albino Cannibalism incident it draws its inspiration from, but isn't it shooting yourself in the foot to present the natives so negatively while simultaneously priding yourself on the "sympathetic" allegory?
It's unsurprising, though, considering how even the Prawns, the things we're supposed to sympathize with, are little more than savage brutes.The exception is Christopher, of course; He's not like those other stupid prawns! He's a daddy and the second protagonist!
Setting your plot against the backdrop of a serious issue is not the same as the plot exploring that issue.
I can't believe that not only did I allow you swindlers, you hucksters, you bamboozlers to seduce me into watching this travesty, but that I dragged my friends off this precipice with me. A MIDNIGHT SHOWING NO LESS! Double shame on the knob-polishing critics.
This movie crucifies itself on subtext. The "social commentary" this movie builds itself around is about as developed and nuanced as the Vampire/Homosexual parallel in True Blood. In other words, total crap. Never does it go beyond the Evil White Corporation motif because the villains are just so uniformly and predictably bad that exploring the dynamics of the bureaucratic power structure and how it leads to apartheid would have been an embellishment for the one-dimensional caricatures running MNU. It's also about half as subtle as True Blood. I'd have never guessed what the Prawn were a metaphor for if Neil wasn't so nice as to set the movie in South African shantytowns and spare my little brain the strain of making a connection. Godwin's Law applies: Neil even squeezes in Concentration Camps. Not at all hamfisted...
If you're not going to derive any insight or emotional catharsis from your allegory, why even bother with it? "Oh look! This vaguely resembles this! It must be profound and equivocal!" Likewise, why are peripheral plots and sociological issues (e.g. the forced abortion scenes, the interspecies prostitution, etc.) that get little-to-no screen time vastly more interesting than the main plot line we do get? Instead, Neil gets his hard-on for big guns and blows his load for the next hour.
And why the hell is the black 'fluid' a plot device tour de force? It's simultaneously a fuel (apparently getting 3 light years to the gallon being contained in a canister the size of a cigar), yet the Prawns apparently couldn't stock up on it before coming to Earth, and a gene-altering biochemical agent that metamorphoses humans into Prawns? Really, nao? I understand that Prawn technology is bioengineered, explaining away the seeming inconsistency somewhat, but from a thematic standpoint it's too silly and convenient to have this Mr. Hyde potion in the middle of a movie that tries to ground itself in realism.
This movie has no plot. Yes, things happen and they do so in sequence, but there's no cohesion or purpose that propels the movie forward.
At first, it's a mundane faux documentary that beats the prawn=refugee imagery to death. You watch people get evicted by the military (about as engaging as it sounds) and the only twist (i.e. remotely interesting thing) is that they're aliens instead of black people. Occasionally the Prawns wild out and kick a guy across the screen or get executed. That's the high point. Worse yet, it's juxtaposed with interviewees telling us crap that either A) hasn't happened yet (way to spoil your own movie) or B) Is in the process of happening thus doesn't need to be elaborated upon or C) describing how stupid/awesome Wickus is. Aren't you supposed to show this stuff rather than tell it? I mean Christ, in a movie that's already too long the last thing it needs to do is segue away from the action to explain to me what I'm seeing.
Next, after the lead character gets infected... No. I don't even need to go past this. Having the lead magically (yes, it's magic and Arthur C. Clarke can suck my cock) become one of the Prawns so we can get him from Point A: an annoying, xenophobic twit, to Point B: Jesus H. Christ, with no personal growth on his part or him even showcasing some redeemable personality trait is sloppy and lazy. As cheap a narrative device as it sounds and the absolute equivalent of putting a white guy in black-face and having him learn "a lesson" about how "the other half" lives. We're supposed to feel some sort of emotional impact when Jerk McAwfulperson makes "the hard choice" despite his being self-serving only until continuing to do so would actually be counterproductive and his being an obsequious, weasel-faced douche the most positive thing you could say about the chap. And the dick gets a denouement as if anyone actually liked him! Oooh, his making paper mache bowls and other lackluster arts and crafts had a purpose after all and comes full circle! Genius! *teardrop*
Bored? Don't worry. The makers foresaw this and they'll gladly bombard you with NOISE NOISE NOISE and the always-loved SHAKY camera action for the ENTIRETY of the third act. Screw all those "characters" and that "drama" they pretended to be building-up and never mind that it's all amorphous and devoid of aim: Bullets fly endlessly and heads asplode! They have the gall to play this somber music the entire time this "Go on without me!" cliché is taking place as if what's going on on screen has any more tension or gravitas than a Resident Evil 5 co-op mission gone wrong. While in a mech, the lead shoots a pig at a mook if you had any doubts to how high-minded and mature the filmmakers were.
Finally, aware the faceless evil military (and angry negroes) wasn't cutting it as an antagonist, they shoehorn some Stone Cold Steve Austin lookalike to the front-line to act as the De Facto Big Bad. No character development, no motivation, no personality: he just "likes watching Prawns dies" in his words and antagonizing the lead scathingly despite there being no personal history between them. What a villain!
This is a buddy cop movie in Hotel Rwanda's clothing. Two guys from two different "races" interact and learn to understand/appreciate the other while blowing up evil white people. It takes place in Africa, though, so it's poignant! Lethal Weapon posing as shrewd and earnest satire. I've seen it all!
Lest I forget, Witchcraft-driven African cannibalism!!! In a movie with bloody walking, talking cockroaches they still felt the need to go the "Scary Voodoo Negroes" route? Never mind making Mudflap and Skidz look like Nelson Mandela; this makes the zombies in RE5 look racially-sensitive. Yes, I'm aware of the Albino Cannibalism incident it draws its inspiration from, but isn't it shooting yourself in the foot to present the natives so negatively while simultaneously priding yourself on the "sympathetic" allegory?
It's unsurprising, though, considering how even the Prawns, the things we're supposed to sympathize with, are little more than savage brutes.The exception is Christopher, of course; He's not like those other stupid prawns! He's a daddy and the second protagonist!
Setting your plot against the backdrop of a serious issue is not the same as the plot exploring that issue.
Views: 49
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by I.Koval on -
Your lack of respect for Arthur Clarke is revolting. You almost came off as worthy of consideration.
-
Permalink Reply by The Eyeball Kid on
-
The difference is that no sci fi writer has started a religion based upon his work. Ever.
-
Permalink Reply by BOWENARROW on -
What about L Ron Hubbard?
-
-
Ever!
-
-
What if I write it in all caps?
-
Permalink Reply by Mike on -
I agree with about half of this. The plot is just not that good and it's definitely not original. Any vampire or werewolf movie has the guy transform into the thing he was hunting, and now he has to be one of them and feel what it's like to be hunted nd save his own ass and make friends with his former enemies blah blah blah. And when his teeth and fingernails were falling out I was like "Haven't I seen this before in The Fly and various other films?"
And you're also right about the theme of stepping into the other guys shoes. He really never changes, he's helping them out of selfishness. But I don't think you are supposed to think he is Jesus H Christ. I'm not sure you need to think he learned a lesson and is a better person. I still saw him as an asshole. To me, within the first 15 minutes I was like, what the hell, this is just a video game. But the action, as mindless as it was, was also really really fun. I loved the alien guns and that giant mech, and I thought the chase was really suspenseful and enjoyable. And it was so satisfying when they blew those superstitious Nigerian assholes away. (My cousin turns to me last night and he's like "man what dumbasses, they think if they eat his arm they gain their powers." So I said to him that over a billion people think if they eat some bread and drink some wine that they'll have eternal life. It's really not that unbelievable that they'd be into that practice.)
So Anyway I think the Spill crew are being dummies for saying this is better than sex because it is really dumb, but I definitely felt like I got my money's worth out of this, and would still give it a firm full price because it was immensely entertaining. It was leaps and bounds beyond that turd terminator salvation, or really anything else this summer.
-
Permalink Reply by Jack O'mally on -
i dont think you understand this man. Does it really matter if it has been done before. And he's not supposed to be a good person, he's human and acts with his own self interest
-
Permalink Reply by LifeUnSeen on -
True hater! Your kind will be few in people because this movie was awesome! May be your standards are to high and this movie doesn't reach them.
-
Permalink Reply by SkaOreo on -
No character development, no motivation, no personality: he just "likes watching Prawns dies" in his words and antagonizing the lead scathingly despite there being no personal history between them. What a villain
Yeah because you know people have never hated someone simply because of their skin color or the way they look, or simply because they don't like them. Nope they always have to have a pretty solid reason for hating someone. Or perhaps maybe the guy was simply a douche bag. And a racist one at that.
"Lest I forget, Witchcraft-driven African cannibalism!!! In a movie with bloody walking, talking cockroaches they still felt the need to go the "Scary Voodoo Negroes" route?"
You know, whenever someone makes the "WAAAH THEY MAKE BLACK PEOPLE LOOK BAD" arguement I always like to imagine that the people making the complaints are somehow shocked that black people who live in a dirt poor community, with possibly no education would engage in such vicious behavior. How wrong of them to show that. Perhaps it would have been a better film if they had random shots of black people in business suits talking on their blackberry's, and having short discussions of their meetings at the office. Or maybe Blomkamp should have made the leader of the gang go on a monologue on how far his people have come and how he tries to better himself each and every day.
-
-
Yeah because you know people have never hated someone simply because of their skin color or the way they look, or simply because they don't like them.
And those with shallow motivations make the best characters.
-
Permalink Reply by silver surfer forever on -
Well, I liked it, Everyone has their own opinion.
-
-
I completely agree. There was so much promise in this premise, but it did nothing with it. The villains are such stereotypical caricatures that I couldn't take them seriously. It altered between documentary and fictional styles (doing neither well) without rhyme or reason. The action sequences consisted primarily of characters standing still and firing offscreen while the camera shook around to assure you that this is indeed very exciting.
I also want to know more about these aliens, and you'd think a documentary would be the perfect way to go about that. Instead, like so many science fiction films, they just expect you to take for granted that they socialize exactly like humans. They "have no concept of ownership" but they trade frequently with humans. They are born in public hatcheries from unmarked eggs, yet they somehow have managed a patriarchal family unit.
And at what point did they learn to communicate with humans!? Every single human in the film can understand the aliens' clicks and gargles with no difficulty at all, and vice versa. In a film where half the English dialog is subtitled, these cultures from literally light years apart seem to have more in common with each other than those from different parts of Earth. This is a problem common among sci fi films, and I usually don't let it get to me. When I'm bored, though, my mind tends to wander.
The more I think about it, the more shallow this film becomes. Everyone keeps talking about how it's this great social commentary, but no one wants to say what the commentary is. That racism is bad? Groundbreaking!
© 2013 Created by The Spill Crew.
