In Which We Complain About Escort Missions

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Permalink Reply by Chig Champa on June 17, 2008 at 4:35am

I want to flog somebody at BioWare for that ten minute long opening on Mass Effect that you CAN'T SKIP THROUGH. EVER.

I don't care about Seth Green making the jump to lightspeed and then cracking wise with his Joe Rogan look-alike buddy, I just want to see if my character looks like a dork, and get fucking dropped on the planet and start blowing shit up. Fuck, this is supposed to be a fucking video game, not a God damned episode of Masterpiece Theater.

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Permalink Reply by ChocolatePretzel on June 20, 2008 at 10:08am

If you think thats bad you should take a look at Vagrant Story on the PS1, it took half an hour before you even started playing the game, and that was an in game cut scene with no voice acting, just text. Saying that though I don't really mind long cutscenes as long as they're interesting.

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Permalink Reply by Marcellus on June 17, 2008 at 1:33pm

My beef cant really be labeled escort, but I had a partner and we were supposed to hijack a coccaine shipment at a pear in GTA4.

The pier was heavily guarded by 20 russians with automatic weapons.

We get out of the truck and the genius I was with decided to step up into the garage doorway and start shooting..................................................with his PISTOL. I hae an AK and I'm behind the truck

5 times I replayed this mission because that prick died.

The kicker is I dont start at the garage, I start at my apartment and I have to go to the strip club to meet that prick, then take his crap car to pick up the slow truck that I have to drive accross town while listening to his fat mouth jabber about nonsense only to pullup[p to the garage where he gets killed again for not taking cover.

If I were by myself I wouldn't have had a problem. I wouldve blown the place up first, but no problem with me dying.

Its just another way designers figure to make thier games harder so we spend more time playing the shit.

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Permalink Reply by AceofOpus on June 17, 2008 at 1:49pm

Escort missions are a piece of shit. The only kinds I seem to not mind is the ones where you have to carry an injured person through an area cluttered with enemies. You usually can find a safe area to drop them and then go kill everyone, the pick his lazy ass up and bring him SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLLLLLLLLLY to the end.

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Permalink Reply by Marcellus on June 17, 2008 at 2:38pm

rainbow six vegas was like that. It allowed you to make the person STAY in a certain place so you can go off killing people. As long as I can command them, I'm fine.

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Permalink Reply by Travis Touchdown on June 17, 2008 at 7:49pm

The only game that tackled escort missions and did it well was Resident Evil 4. You didn't end up starting the game over every other time just because Ashley got carried off or was killed by zombies.
Still, escort missions have to go. They just provide a cheap-ass way of getting you killed or sending you back to a checkpoint.

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Permalink Reply by Harms on June 17, 2008 at 10:28pm

I have a high dislike towards escort missions.

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Permalink Reply by Jefferoo on June 18, 2008 at 4:08pm

Yeah escort missions are the worse, I would happy pass Ashley in Resident Evil 4 my handgun so that she could shoot herself in the head and save me the trouble and prance around in a kilt thwacking stereotypes.

Wait that got horribly off-tangent. CURSES

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Permalink Reply by corey vire on June 18, 2008 at 5:30pm

only if the person your escorting can help fight. other than that I think they program them in retard on purpose.

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Permalink Reply by SketchedLilly on June 19, 2008 at 3:14pm

What was that puzzle game that was nothing but a giant escort mission? The player character was a kid with a horned viking hat and you had to tote around a girl with long white hair....

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Permalink Reply by Travis Touchdown on June 19, 2008 at 3:47pm

I believe you mean ICO, and I think the horns were part of his head.

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Permalink Reply by SketchedLilly on June 19, 2008 at 7:50pm

That's right...I played that for one hour several years ago and have heard nothing of it since.

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